I am in love- 23 June 2012.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Saturday, 23 June 2012 12:40

“I am in love!! What to do??

This is the most popular question and controversial topic I get to deal with as an Agony Aunt in my column Emotions in the daily newspaper The Hitavada.

I love the condition!

It is good to be in love and experience the euphoria that goes with it. It’s heady, intoxicating and exhilarating. Nothing could be more addictive! Love is the most positive emotion that makes the world go round and makes the world multiply itself otherwise there would be no life on Earth as human beings would become extinct! So love is nature’s way to keep it-self thriving and growing. Love has to be experienced to understand it.

Butterflies inside, jitteriness in the stomach, goose bumps (the nice ones), slow motions, flashbacks, relating to movies and songs and everything else that makes your world go round. Sounds filmy! But, you really have to experience it to understand it. Of course, it’s a wonderful feeling!

Then why are we against it is a big question and a big dilemma.

Make a difference between attraction, which sometimes is called physical chemistry; lust or physical desire; romantic inclinations and fantasies; affection and care; and long term commitment. Once dissected into multiple variables, where is love?!

Perhaps it is all of the above and rolled into each other to make it a complete and an extremely complex emotion. So can we say that love is a complex emotion that includes attraction, physical desire, affection and caring, and a desire to make a commitment on a long- term basis. This long term thing speaks of a sense of responsibility towards your own action and the reaction on the other person of your actions. Hence that wonderful feeling that we call ‘love’ becomes a serious business. ‘Love’ speaks of your personality and your character. How people conduct their love lives speaks volumes about their personal character and their identities.

If you are too young, say in your teens, your personality is yet to develop and grow into a mature human. There are numerous tasks to be done before you fall into love and commit yourself to a mature relationship. So next time you feel like saying ‘I am in love’ think ten times about your true feelings and filter out the chaff from the grain of truth. It may be a passing fad, a physical attraction, a romantic fantasy, or just affection and friendship. But certainly not LOVE.


+4 #1 ankita 2013-04-11 00:09
there is no diff. b/w love and attachment because pure love is all about attachment with one human or the other.
0 #2 mrunmai 2015-10-04 14:48
Mam,I'm a medical aspirant and will REAPPEAR for PMTs next year.I met a guy while i was in 10th and like him since then.he too liked me earlier.We were just friends and would rarely get to talk to each other and this would make me feel even more desperate for him.I eventuallay realized that I can't stay without him.Remembering the time we had spent together makes me sad,depressed and even cry often realizing he isn't with me as he is the one who can make me laugh even in the toughest of situations.I told him about my feelings for him but he is not in love with me.he likes me but not in that way. But due to some misunderstandin g we stopped talking to each other.as a result I'm depressed,frust rated almost all the time and unable to focus on my studies.my performance is getting worse day by day which makes me even more tensed about my career as I by heart want to get selected for MBBS.I can't start a conversation with him now as my self respect comes in between.please tell me what to do.
0 #3 Vrishti 2016-07-18 00:28
hey #mrunmai i will tell u wht. pardon my language bt wht I say, take in the meaning. fuck ur ego nd yes its ego nt self respect. self respect is when u have done nuthing wrong nd still he is like yahi hai meri sari pareshaniyo ki wajah. u really like him right, n u know its jst misunderstandin g and also u r worried abt ur carrer than at least 4 ur self jst go and at least SORT it out with him. u will feel better i guarantee jst dont show ur desperation 4 him ok jst try it babe ALL THE BEST
0 #4 sarang Jain 2017-03-24 21:32
its very nice mam, but i think love is not attraction and affection, they both are temporary and can be forgettable, as per medical research if u r successful to control ur feelings with or without dis, up to 21 days then ur free to forget everything!!