Example of Section Blog layout (FAQ section)

“Identify the stressors”- 15 May 2016.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 19 May 2016 14:21


Q. I completed my PG in Chemistry in 2015. From last one year I am preparing for comparative exam related to chemistry but now I am not interested in that subject. Now I don't know what to do. And what happen with me. Day by day I am getting depressed and nervous. So, please help me.

Ans. Even if you have done Chemistry you could look for any and every type of job. Open your mind and take up whatever is available in your city or town. It is important to work and earn money. It does not have to be the job of your choice in the field of chemistry. You could try teaching in a school or college or you could start coaching children in science. If you take kids from school level you could do many subjects. Another option is to prepare for the competitive exams/ civil services exams of your State and Centre. Other government sector jobs, the banking sector, government and private sector is also open to you as a post graduate. Don’t just sit there and do nothing with your life. Please get going and search for options. There is lots of work which can be done, you have to look for the opportunities. Another area is entrepreneurship and being self employed. Explore that too very seriously.


Q. I am an M.A.M Student and I want to discontinue studies after BM degree because I am interested in I.T sectors. So after that what type of post graduate degrees can I do as a specialization in I.T.

Ans. I have not understood the full form of M.A.M nor the BM degree that you mention. Kindly make it specific so that we could attempt a try at suggesting you something.


Q. I am feeling much stressed at my job place. My sleep is disturbed and I keep lying awake and worry about my life and family. I have lost my hair as it is falling. I have tried many types of oils and other treatment but it is still falling. I am afraid of getting bald and then no one will marry me. I don’t like my job and I don’t like my boss – he is an irritating fellow and behaves like a bull-dozer. He keeps pushing me and many others to keep on working, he does not like to give leave and forces us to do this and that. Please tell me what to do.

Ans. You are definitely showing symptoms of stress. It is nice to know that you have identified it and are keen to seek guidance for it. Losing sleep or your sleep being disturbed or irregular is many times the first casualty in stress or mental disturbances. Hair fall for many is also a symptom of stress and could be traced to many more factors. After trying all sorts of therapies if you have not found any relief then you should consult a psychologist as fast as possible. Your boss could be one stressor that seems obvious and you not liking your job is another stressor. But there could be more stressors that are not so apparent to you. For example if you know the nature of your boss and his behaviour, you could learn how to manage him and his nature. There has to be a good side to him too which is not being perceived by you. An important aspect hence is your own weaknesses which ought to be looked into and handled. To elaborate the point, let’s take your inability to say ‘no’ to his demands in a polite manner, may be being exploited by him. Learn the art of being assertive in a polite manner. Alternately, you could work on increasing your levels of competencies and skills on the job so that your productivity goes up. Introspection will help you know yourself better and then manage your stress well. Do not hesitate to seek counselling as soon as possible if you fail to get any relief. Timely counselling helps in relieving stress.

N.B: Readers are requested to write short queries in approx. 150 to 200 words. The question should be written in proper English with accurate spellings and grammar with no abbreviations. Lengthy letters too will not be entertained. Readers who want their replies through the Emotions column should only write to us. Readers desirous of personal replies on their personal email address should note that such services are charged with a small fee.


“Be clear about your career path”- 8 May 2016.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Thursday, 19 May 2016 14:18

R. I

Q. Madam, my cousin is in the final year of engineering and wants to opt for psychology after she completes her engineering. But she never had biology subject as her group was PCM in 11th and 12th. So can she take psychology now? And if yes, then how to go about?

Ans. You do not need science or biology to study psychology. After she completes engineering she will have to enrol in the undergraduate course with psychology as one subject or with honours in psychology. Then she will do a Masters in Psychology and then further a Masters in Philosophy (M.Phil ) in Clinical Psychology. There are some colleges that allow direct admission into the Masters course in Psychology after any graduation but she might not be allowed to do the course in Clinical Psychology in that case. She must make clear her career path and goal before she decides to opt out of engineering and into another discipline. She could get into HRD training with a diploma in it after engineering which deals with people in the industry as an alternative. A session of counselling will help set her aims and further line of study.


Q. I am an MBBS student. I am an open-minded, happy person. Madam I don’t know how to deal with people. Wherever I go, I find most of the people, except few of them are jealous of me; whether it’s at my college or my home. Either they pass comments, ignore me for no reasons or hurt me in many ways. I really don’t know how to deal with those pack of haters and they have been always hurting me ma’m. I cannot focus at my work and I am finding it really difficult to live with them. Please help me.

Ans. I suggest you come for a session of counselling. There has to be more to the story than what you state. There has to be some history and background to this mass hatred for you. Generally it does not happen that way. You may make a few ‘enemies’ or you may upset one particular group/ gang who may oppose you and obstruct you. There has to be some reason for people to hate you like this. Please see me soon enough. We will surely find a solution to your problem.

Q. I am a 2nd year Engineering student at Nagpur. I was never interested to pursue Engineering, however had to do it due to some family pressure. This is my third year in the stream, already repeated a year and I don't think I can make it even now! I am interested in writing and historical studies. I have been writing for a media website too. (www.sukeindia.com/author/asmit). Pursuing Arts, here they say is very lowly. They think Arts students are poor in studies etc. I cannot continue engineering anymore. I am willing to opt out anyhow and study arts or journalism. I have almost decided to leave home and change college. Please guide me.

Ans. Certainly, I agree with you that Arts and Humanities is a great field of study and if you love it please go ahead and do it. Yes, you should leave engineering now and not later and join the course of your passion. But first be very sure that you know all the pros and cons of the suggested course and its future prospects and your aptitude and personality fitness for the same. Once bitten twice shy they say. You should not make a mistake second time and should be very sure of your choices before you take the plunge. A session of career guidance would certainly be helpful.


Q. I read your weekly columns regularly, and enjoy them, mainly because you have a very common-sense approach, so refreshing in these "it's not your fault" pass-the-buck days! Could you please give my son some guidance about his career? His ambition has always been to become a research scientist. Having no interest in either engineering or in medicine, with full support from his father and myself, he opted for B. Sc Science and is in first year at a college here in Nagpur. He wants to do an integrated M. Sc+ Ph. D course if such an option is possible. Could I know if such a course is available, and if so, where? What other supplementary courses could he pursue along with his degree which would be of use later? Please give the answer in your weekly column, as some other classmates of his too are interested in this.


Ans. Please check out the websites of the good science colleges of India. You could look up Indian Institute of Science, Banglore, Christ College, Banglore, Delhi University, St. Stephens Delhi University and some more. I am sure there are integrated courses in M.Sc and Ph.D at these colleges /departments. I hope your son knows which discipline of science he wants to pursue, whether it is physics, or chemistry, mathematics, or astrophysics etc. The choices are numerous. It is nice to know he wants to get into research and pure science and not run after engineering which seems to be the current trend. It is also nice to see that as a parent you are supporting him fully. Best wishes!

“An open mind opens possibilities”- 1 May 2016.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 18 May 2016 17:07


Q. I was always a career minded woman. Before I married I was working in a company in my own city. At marriage I had told my would- be husband that I want to work and he had said he is okay with it. But after my marriage he asked me to wait for some time so that we could settle down and then I could look for a job. The place where I got married is a remote place and does not have jobs for the work I do. After two years of marriage I am getting frustrated and this is interfering in our relationship. My husband blames me for being unreasonable and angry and to be patient. He is advising me to do other types of jobs which I do not like to do? Please guide me properly what to do and how to do it. I love my husband and want to stay with him. He is a nice man and cares for me too.

Ans. This is not an uncommon situation for a woman after marriage. Because she has to re-locate to her marital home she has to make many specific adjustments. I can empathise with you and your plight and your sense of growing frustration. One way could be that you could open your mind to newer and different possibilities in the area where you stay and explore them seriously. Meet and talk to a few people who can guide you and be open to new ideas. Something will come along. You should also explore being self employed and become an entrepreneur. Do your own thing whatever you are good at. Come for a session of counselling if possible if you cannot decide.


Q. I love a boy from another caste and my parents are very much against it. He is a very nice and sincere person and cares for me a lot. I cannot live without him. Please do not ask me to break the relationship. He is a little older to me and is working. I am going to complete my graduation soon and will look for a job soon. He will help me search for a job. My parents feel that he is spoiling my life as I can get many good boys from my caste and who are better educated with better salaries. But I love this boy and we have been friends since 6 years now. How can I give him up? I want your correct advice on this matter. He is not very rich but we will both work and make a good living. I am ready to work hard and be with him.

Ans. This is a choice you have to make which I agree is difficult. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the proposal and decide. Besides the caste factor which is not a major factor according to me, you might look into the financial differences between the two of you and the cultural differences. Life style differences can be a serious source of stress for both as it is a daily hassle. You might like to wait for some more time before you take the final plunge. Hence first finish your education, take up a job, work for some time, have a look at reality and then do a reality check with your choice.


Q. I appeared for my JEE entrance and I think I have not done well in my 12 th exams too. I have always been a good student but this time I don’t know what happened to me I have messed up my papers. I had studied but not so much as I should have. I did get distracted into other things with my friends and now I feel I have done the wrong thing. What should I do now? Should I repeat my 12th and my entrance exams? Or should I just take admission wherever I get it? The big question is what is the best thing to do? My parents feel I have done well for I have been telling them lies about my exams. But I am very depressed now. I thought of committing suicide but that is not going to happen too. Please guide me madam.

Ans. This would require more thought and discussion. It would be difficult for me to direct you to make a choice now. Once your results are out and your parents realise your goof up, you could come for a session of counselling with them. We need to explore both the options of repeating the year and of joining other courses suitable to you. The choice is to be made on the basis of your goals and dreams and on the basis of your aptitude, and your personality factors. Including parents in the process of counselling will be appropriate.


“Relationships are like a dance”- 27 March 2016.

Written by Rita Aggarwal
Wednesday, 27 April 2016 18:22


Q. I’ve been in a relationship for the past 10 months. However, my girlfriend has left me and gone back with her ex-boyfriend. He would always spend time with her and take her money. She called me into her life and has now left me. I feel she has betrayed me. I am very frustrated and am unable to do focus on anything including my studies.

Ans. This is nonsense. She should not use you like this. She calls you whenever she feels like and then ditches you. She is obviously playing with your emotions and taking you for granted. This also happens when you love her and allow her to use you and exploit you. They say once bitten twice shy. Once you have betrayed not once but twice you should keep in mind her nature and say no to her requests. You could also pick up the phone and give her a piece of your mind by expressing your anger. That will make you feel better and then forget her. She is not worth the trouble.


Q. Hello ma’am, this is the third or fourth time I am consulting you. Thank you for your previous suggestions. One of my good friends has become has become a drunkard. I along with our couple of friends are asking him to leave that habit since last year. Last month, he drank almost daily so we decided to convince him one last time. Being an emotional person, I lost my control and in anger cried saying I can't watch him ruining his life. We all thought the worst case will be he will continue with his habit. But instead along with that he told my crying incidence to his table friends. And now for weeks they are making fun of me. I have cut out all contacts with him because being friends hurts too much as he had made fun of my tears. It's been a month now that we are not talking. We are neighbours so sometimes I feel am I doing too much? Was I wrong? Have I lost my friend? Is it my self-respect or attitude?

Ans. We have to make a decision based on many factors. You were hurt so you stopped talking to him. But it is obvious that you are missing him and wanting to go back. There are no hard and fast rules in friendships and at most times it is like a dance. You shift back and forth in a dance and in a relationship, sometimes take a step back when hurt and sometimes take a step forward when you miss him. You can follow your instincts as they come. The only thing to remember is that it cannot be one-sided but has to be mutual. In the sense that he must respect you as much as you do and he must miss you as much as he does. It is always nice to patch up and go along together. After all you are growing up together and that is a lovely experience. If it turns bitter and nasty cut it off totally. Otherwise forgive and forget.


Q. Hello madam, I am being forced into marriage. I am studying in final year graduation and am telling parents not to marry me off. I want to work for some time before marriage. They have been putting pressure on me for 3 years to get married. But I cannot escape this anymore. I don’t know the boy and don’t want to get married. I am desperately looking for a way out. I think I will run away from home.


Ans. If that is the only option then please do so! What will happen to your studies and your financial support? If you can look for a part time job and then support yourself and your studies then that could be considered a good option. You should not fall into wrong elements and get exploited. The best option seems to tell the boy whenever he comes to meet you that you are not interested in getting married and that he should say no. You could do this to all the boys who come to see you. In this process you might come across a decent guy whom you may like and may feel like marrying. Who knows what is in store for you and your destiny. You might meet a good guy who will understand you and allow you to finish your studies and allow you to work and grow in career. So do not despair, life is very vast and full of possibilities. Keep your mind and options open. All the best to you.

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