‘Get out of the victim mindset’-16 March 2025.
XYZ
Q. I teach in a school. Since the last few months, I have been feeling a lack of confidence in myself, I don’t feel good about anything at all. An incident at the workplace might be the reason where I had to face backlash for somebody else’s mistake. And with that came insecurities, and feeling low confidence, and so on. I am always in fear of whether I will fail in my work, I will not be able to have the confidence I used to have and it all seems to fall apart I really don’t understand what to do. How to cope with the situation? Please help me.
Ans. Yes, workplace stress is real and it happens all the time. But being punished for someone else’s mistake is injustice. If you are actually the victim then why should you blame yourself when you know you are not guilty. You have not done anything wrong and still have to suffer for whatever reasons, which could be many. It could be the ignorance of the senior who punished you, or it could be deliberate, to protect someone stronger or more important which is unfair. Either you digest this unfair treatment and forget about it or then fight a battle for justice by picking up the issue. Consider whether it is worth the trouble. One thing which you should not do is -to blame yourself and lose your mind. Keep calm and maintain your respect and dignity. Believe yourself and be self -assured. You are strong enough to bear some people’s follies. We do get ‘victimized’ in life.
YZ
Q. I am 30 years old and I am from Mumbai city. I want to share a matter regarding my mother. I grew up in a very happy environment. While growing up I have always seen my mother and father as a happy couple. They have been an example of a loving couple for so many years. I have never ever felt a bit of discomfort or any problems among them. Last year my mother and father got divorced and it was really surprising and at the same time disheartening for our family and friends to see such a wonderful couple setting their path in different ways. For 29 years none of us felt there was any issue or something going on. At the time of divorce, all of us had a meeting and asked for reasons for the divorce but no one got a convincing answer for that. After all this it was difficult for me to comprehend the situation and it was really shocking and I felt so bad for my mom and dad as well and I used to think all the time what might be the reason for their separation. My mom by then became a little introverted and used to talk less. I didn’t really realize that she was in some trauma and it had impacted her behavior on such a severe level. One day I took my mother to a restaurant, we ordered our food and suddenly some sauce got spilled on the table by the waiter’s hand and my mother took the sauce in her hand and started laughing and showing the sauce in her hand to all of the people sitting around the restaurant. I took her to a psychiatrist too, but I see no changes in her despite medication. Please help me out.
Ans. Thanks for sharing the sad story. It seems clear that your mother suffers from a mental health condition and that may be the reason for the strange divorce. I am unable to comment on the reasons and the problems mentioned. The best advice would be to follow the treatment of the psychiatrist on a long -term basis and also seek another opinion from another psychiatrist. The opinion of a clinical psychologist could be sought too. It would help.
