“Overcoming grief takes its own course in time” 18 January 2026
JP
Q. I don’t feel confident in myself and I fall asleep only around 3 am no matter how early I go to bed. I can’t speak up or reach out to my teachers to clear doubts. I’m afraid of them no matter how polite they are. I can’t listen to songs because my elder brother whom I loved a lot died a few months ago and some songs remind me of him. Whenever someone mentions his name or the songs, he loved, I start to cry. I think I haven’t overcome that incident. But this is now affecting my studies too. I try hard but if I listen to a song then all my hard work turns to be of no use. My brother was my lifeline. That incident has been a big shock but I want to overcome it. What do I do?
Ans. Getting over grief takes its own course in time to heal. Losing a sibling is no easy loss and is a big blow. However, sharing it and talking about it can help you overcome it faster and get back to functioning. You should be able to function normally even if you are grieving. A few sessions of counselling can help you handle your emotions, understand your inner disturbances and maintain your sanity. What you are experiencing is natural and happens to everyone.
XYZ
Q. I am a girl currently studying in 10th. I was a good student till 8th but my problems began from 9th standard. There was a boy in my class who would stare at me all the time and make me nervous. I told my friends after many months because it was disturbing my mind a lot. I could not tell my parents and now I feel I should have told my parents. My friends misguided me by saying that he likes me and that I should talk to him and respond back. My friends started teasing me with that boy’s name and it disturbed me even more. Once they pushed me to say hello to him and I am a very shy person but still I did say hello. He started laughing and ran away! I felt insulted and had a fight with my friends for this. Now my friends stopped talking to me. We have our board exams coming and I do not want to overthink about this. I am having trouble focusing on my studies and doing anything. Please help me!
Ans. Thank you for sharing your concern openly with us. You rightly said that your friends misguided you. You faced a situation where you felt rejected. It seems like the boy was only playing a prank with you. To manage your emotions, try to accept the fact that you were the target of a bad joke and now it is over. We all become a target one time or another in life. We learn from these experiences and consider them very valuable. Do not focus on them as a negative experience for all experiences of life teach us a lesson which you otherwise never learn. Focus on your final board exams and do well in them. Come for a session if you the problem persists.
BN
Q. I am an engineering graduate. I don’t have a job currently and I’m confused about my future. I am facing a lot of issues in concentrating my mind on one thing. I feel very depressed often and wish to give up everything. I am in a relationship with someone and I can’t live without him but my family does not approve of our relationship. I can’t go against them also. He is a very nice guy but not of my caste. But at times I am not satisfied with the relationship also. It’s family pressure, relationship, job, career and everything together that is bothering me. How to handle it?
Ans. This seems to be a difficult situation as everything seems to be going wrong. Of- course the main thing is to get a job first. You could get into any job temporarily because working and earning will make you feel better. Sitting at home unemployed brings frustration, and makes you distressed. Once you start you can plan your future career path thoughtfully. If you’re not sure about your relationship yet, take some more time to understand what you want and then think about talking to your family about it if you wish to have this relationship long term in your life. First decide on your priorities and deal with one thing at a time.
