‘Self- management is the first principle of life’ 6 July 2025.
AJ
Q, I am an 18 year- old girl and off late, I am having problem to concentrate on my studies and I also get distracted and influenced very easily. All this is happening for the past one year. I am having these weird thoughts that I am becoming fearful about everything and anything. I always think of the worst that could happen to me or my loved ones. As these thoughts are very repetitive in nature, I have started doubting myself as what if I do something wrong or something that I find disgusting or something like that happens to me. Because of all this I don’t trust myself. I always feel sick, dull and gloomy. I don’t feel like socializing with people. Please help me with this problem.
Ans. One year is a long time indeed. Your problem could be an obsessive anxiety about certain things which keeps getting repeated in your mind and troubles you. You feel it might go out of control and you might land up doing something obnoxious. But remember, that may not happen. You also feel dull, gloomy and don’t like socializing. This type of problem needs treatment and will not go away with will power and self- control. Please inform your parents that you need to consult a psychologist and we will guide you further. Request them that it is urgent and needs treatment. This must be a crucial time for you to study and make a good career for yourself. Get it treated and move on happily.
ABC
Q. I am an engineering graduate working from last 2 years. I was in a relationship with a guy from last 3 years when I was studying, he was my classmate. Before 2 years when my parents came to know about this, they called that guy and asked him to marry me but he refused to marry me at that time and during three years he literally used me and many worst things happened. I can’t reveal here and then he left me. Now I am totally shattered and I want to commit suicide, he ditched me and I can’t forget that. We are not in contact from 3 months now. I don’t want to live with such bitter experience, I try to recover but I can’t. Was it my mistake to trust him blindly? What to do?
Ans- Bad relationships certainly leave a scar and can traumatize your mind. But on the contrary, they also teach you ‘life lessons’ which no book will teach you. Hence experiences, good or bad, are valuable. Therefore, no situation is big enough to call for death and suicide. You are a financially independent girl who can lead a good healthy life if you learn a few positive lessons in managing your emotions and yourself. Please do not despair. For the time, make good girl friends, develop some hobbies, do regular physical exercise along with therapy. Avoid male friendships for some time, till you feel confident. A few sessions of counselling will help you recover from your depression and trauma.
SP
Q. I am a 20 year- old pursuing my B.Tech. in computer science. During the recent campus recruitment in our college I got placed in one of the companies and I was the first girl with a job offer in our college. But I am least interested in joining the company for my own reasons and to add to it, I am not allowed to appear for the rest of the recruitment procedures in the campus as per our college rules. I am now totally confused and clueless about what I should plan next. I thought of getting my post- graduation done once I am done with my UG program as my father thinks it might be helpful to find a job as a lecturer. As far as I am concerned, I am attracted to MBA programs as well but the fear of not qualifying in the respective exams keeps me away from preparing for the same. At times I even think of preparing for UPSC exams. I hope you understand how confused I am. Please guide me.
Ans. While choosing a career, it is important to understand your aspirations, your motivations and personality traits that would suit the best possible line of growth. Are you inclined towards academics and teaching or more inclined towards practical work and management? It requires an understanding of your future dreams as well as your aptitude and interests. You need to introspect and take time to decide. Do not rush into it. I will be able to help you only when I know more details about you and your needs. A session will help to find clarity.
