“Assess your aptitude and your priorities” 12 October 2025
KP
Q. I am a student of final year diploma in civil engineering. Till high school, I was very sharp in studies but now I can’t concentrate. I also have trouble grasping the difficult concepts and then I don’t feel like studying only. I need to score very high to get a reputed institute for further studies. My score in a recent class test series was very poor. Now I am badly depressed thinking about my future. I have lost all my self- confidence. My family, relatives, have high expectations from me. My friends are also motivating me, but that isn’t helping. Now I have got less than a month to prepare for my final exams, which will be announced any time after Diwali. I have started fearing exams after all this. I am trying to recover but mentally I am unable to. Hopefully you will give me solution. Please help me out ma’am.
Ans- You are scared because of a previous bad experience where your performance in exam was poor. You might be aspiring for admission into engineering course after your diploma for which you need good marks. You can take the help of a good tutor in case you have trouble understanding and grasping concepts. If you think you are unsuited for engineering, then you should go for an aptitude test to check with your areas of talent and abilities to know which career line is the most suitable. Since you were a good student in high school and are going down in results in diploma course, you may be unsuited for an engineering program. Your abilities may lie elsewhere. An aptitude test will help gain some more clarity.
AS
Q. I am a very emotional person. Small things hurt me a lot. But I never cry in front of any one. I always use my washroom for crying my heart out. My best friends are books and my diary. I am not introverted. But I don’t like to display my emotions in a world where nobody cares. My father remarried after my mother’s death and doesn’t live with me. He was in contact with me since the last 3 years. But I don’t know what happened suddenly, he has not contacted me since the last two months. He always does this from time to time. I tried reaching out but in vain. Now I am fed up and I am hating him for neglecting me like this. My maternal family is very good and they are taking best care of me. But I feel that my father also should help in my expenses. Whenever he comes to meet, (in 5-6 months) he humiliates me in front of my maternal family saying I am a burden on them. I feel alone and neglected by him. I feel like an orphan. I don’t want to show my depressed side to my maternal family as this can upset them. Please guide me.
Ans- Your situation is indeed a difficult one. At times, there are things that we cannot control even when we feel like doing so- the same goes for your father’s behaviour. While it might be wrong on his part to humiliate you and say such statements, try focusing on the resources that you have- your maternal family. Appreciate and respect them for what they do for you and consider yourself very lucky. Counselling will help you manage the feelings of neglect and deal with difficult emotions you come across.
Anonymous
Q. I am currently studying in M.Sc (agri). I have an aim of becoming professor and for that I need to qualify NET exam which is not so easy. But I know that I have potential to clear it. I am unable to concentrate seriously on my studies due to relationship problems with my girlfriend. Many fights are happening between us which disturbs me lot mentally. I’ve become very lazy and don’t feel like doing anything. What should I do?
Ans- If your relationship is affecting you, firstly you can talk it out with her. But if doesn’t help, it would be advisable to distance yourself from her for some time, till you clear your exam. Your laziness may be coming from your emotional problems which lead to mental fatigue. Physical activity will help you rejuvenate your mind and activate your mind and body. Your career is more important at the moment.
