“Stand up and stop the violence” 26 October 2025

PK

Q. Since past two or three years I have grown a problem of over-thinking. A continuous cycle of unwanted thoughts remains present in my mind. I am trying to get rid of them. I have tried all possible ways to avoid this problem but not successful. It is affecting my studies too. I have lost concentration in studies. This is worrying me. My exams are near and my studies are getting affected. I am not able to come out of it. I have tried methods from the internet but they have not helped me. Please suggest me ways to overcome this over-thinking.

Ans. Overthinking can happen due to many reasons and it would be important to know the real cause of this problem. Try scribbling your thoughts in random manner on rough sheets of paper.  You can try journaling your thoughts in a diary along with relaxation techniques to manage your thoughts at your own level. You can also try indulging in sports and games and be active. Counselling would be beneficial for this concern. Come for a session if it persists more.

M.J.

Q. Something is not okay with my husband. He gets angry with small issues and tries to beat me. He abuses me too and I am now worried for my future. I have a child and we have been married for five years. This problem was small earlier and now has become bigger and worse. I tried talking to his mother and father and they say that he is a good person and that I should not make him angry. They say that I should do as he says and I should keep him pleased and happy. What should I do?

Ans. You should not tolerate an abusive relationship because the violence will not stop. Rather it will escalate if you do not retaliate and take a stand for yourself. You should worry about your future as you have a child to take care of and domestic violence impacts the mental health of children as well as adults. Your husband also has responsibilities which he should take on and he must also be responsible for his own behavior. You cannot be blamed for his violence. You can report this behavior to the ‘bharosa’ cell of the police, if the violence does not stop. You can also try marriage counselling before you approach the police. Firstly, inform him of your intention that you will not take action. Inform your parents too about it soon and take their support.

Anonymous

Q. I’m a 21 years old guy. I am very shy and I cannot talk to people, even when I am in my class, I always feel weird and because of that I sit alone. Nobody in my class comes to talk to me. I feel that I will die alone please suggest me something I want to make some friends. I want to have good social skills. There is one girl in my class whom I really like and I have feelings for her, whenever I see her, I become happy. I wish I could talk to her. Help me so that I can finally talk to her.

Ans. Learning social skills is extremely essential in your case. You do not have to suffer loneliness when the world is full of people! You can start by taking simple steps such as smiling at whoever you meet in the lift or in the campus. Say a small ‘hello’ after smiling at the person. Thirdly, you could ask a question such as ‘how are you’ to begin with and be a good listener to whatever they have to say. Social skills training sessions will solve the problem. I can help you with these sessions.