Q. I feel scared and nervous going to college. I want to leave my studies and do art work. I like to paint and sketch and cook. I hate college. The teachers are not good and shout at students. They always say ‘you will fail and remain uneducated’. They curse and use bad words. It’s not a good college. My parents want me to continue but at home I am happy. Except when my parents get angry and upset and force me. I don’t know what to do and how to convince them. Please help me decide and what to tell my parents.
Ans. It is sad to know that you have been bullied and mentally harassed by college teachers. We have heard stories of badly behaved teachers who victimise students instead of counselling them. No wonder you feel scared and nervous going to college. You might become just the perfect scape-goat for them. Take some counselling sessions to heal your mind. However, education is a must today. You might drop out of this particular college and join another one or join distance learning through IGNOU where you can complete your degree course. About your liking for sketching and painting is fine but have you thought about building a career for yourself? If you are keen on a career to become economically independent, you must think seriously about what talent and aptitude you have and what training courses you must join to reach your goal. If you not keen on career making, then take a degree and enjoy your hobbies of painting and cooking. Instead of a degree you could think of vocational courses too in arts, such as, multi-media and commercial art, etc, which will give you specific skills.
Q. I am confused about my career. I wanted to do commerce but my parents force me for science. I am good in maths and not so good in chemistry and physics. They put me in coaching centre for science and hoped I would do IIT engineering. I went mad doing the tuitions. It was like torture and I did not get good marks. I got more shouting at home and used to sleep a lot. Did not feel like going for classes. Don’t feel like sitting for exams and of course I am going to fail or do poorly. My mother understands me better but my father does not. In front of father my mother keeps quiet. What to do? I know it is for me to decide.
Ans. Career planning is a serious process of self -assessment of aptitudes, abilities, likes and dislikes and temperament too. Your father’s wish to make his son an engineer of IIT cannot be fulfilled by his son if he does not wish it too! The son should be equally keen to become an engineer and the son should also have the right combination of abilities to do so. You say that you are good at maths and not so good at science and more importantly you have no interest in science but have interest in commerce. Since it is your life and career, you are the best person to make the right choice. Whether your father likes it or not you should do what is good for you. That your father forced you into tuitions for IIT is a sad story for many students in India. You are not scoring well, might fail after all in final exams and have suffered negative emotions, such as, anger, fear, mild depression with a reluctance to attend classes; is a sad tale of many thousands of Indian students. They are being lured by coaching centres by selling dreams of IIT to parents and students and filling up their seats with false assurances of passing the entrance in spite of knowing very well that the students do not have the aptitude. Please stick to your own dreams and make your own choice of doing commerce. Do not give in to your father’s pressures like you did two years ago, while joining the coaching centre. Be bold and assertive and say what is best for you.