“Clarity of purpose will bring clarity in thoughts” 11 May 2025
MK
Q. My friend is having many bad habits of drinking and watching TV whole night. He does not get sleep and keeps awake. After that in the morning he is not able to get up and go to work on time. He has a large joint family who help his family and wife and children and he takes no responsibility for them. His wife went away to her parents many times and then he goes and brings them back. This is going on since many years. Will counselling help overcome his bad habits?
Ans. Rehabilitation of alcoholism is first a medical process of detoxification under the supervision of a doctor and requires hospitalization of few days. Yes, counselling is certainly required after the detox process for a long-term to avoid the relapse. Family counseling will also be needed to help the family that is affected. Addiction leads to many bad habits due to the deterioration of the mind, values and morals. His wife is naturally a victim of his temperament and addictive nature and is suffering due to it. You might motivate your friend for counselling and you may send the couple together initially.
TC
Q. I am a girl just promoted to 12th. I am preparing for my NEET exam. Mam I am suffering from a lot of depression as I can’t study as per my expectations. I find difficulty in keeping my mind stable. I am not able to forget my past (hope you got it). I try to change my mind but can’t stay on it much…this disappoints me a lot. I am a kind of a dreamy person which makes it more difficult for me. Please help me mam.
Ans. As humans, we have the capacity to postpone our desires and focus on the task at hand. You need to do the same with your emotions for some time and concentrate on career making. Do not try to forget the past- it does not happen like that at all. What you should do is to find specific time for your past memories. For example, take 30 minutes out daily at a specific time during the day and sit with either a diary or loose sheets of paper and scribble out your feelings and thoughts on it. That will clear your mind for the day at least and then focus on studies. If you have depression as you say, then you would need sessions of counselling for some time. There could be multiple reasons for your state of mind and it would be important to assess them. Come for a session, where we can discuss all this step by step. If you are planning a career in medicine, then you must get serious with your studies and not waste time dreaming.
Anonymous
Q. I have studied PG in marketing from Mumbai, but am basically from Nagpur. A week ago, I went to Mumbai to get my documents and that was the last time I visited Mumbai I guess because I am getting engaged. I was in a relationship for 3 years. The day I came back from Mumbai I feel like crying every day. I am unable to find out the reason. I feel very low. I eat less. I don’t feel hungry. I forget things easily. I feel lost somewhere. I miss one of my friends of Mumbai a lot. Whenever my mother asks or says me anything my tears come out. I can’t control myself from crying. I feel like to run away from here. I shared this with my boyfriend and he consoled me but still I feel something is missing. My parents are worrying and asking me that am I not happy with this engagement after all everything is of my choice. But I am happy and the thing is I feel little nervous that’s it. I should feel happy with my boyfriend. I feel very depressed. I miss that friend a lot. We have very strong bonding but we haven’t spent much time last week. I didn’t miss him when I was in Nagpur after my completion of course. Then why now?? I keep finding the reasons to go back to Mumbai. I have gotten used to the freedom. I haven’t shared this with anyone except the friend I miss a lot. I can’t concentrate on my work. My parents are noticing that something is fishy. Even I am not clear that what’s wrong with me. Please help.
Ans. You seem to have mixed emotions in your mind. There could be some sort of attachment that you have developed for that friend in Mumbai. It could be an infatuation or something deeper and serious. This needs introspection and exploration of your mind and emotions. It is suggested that you do not rush into marriage even though you are engaged to your fiancé. You also talk about the freedom that you experienced in Mumbai and that you miss it. Your experiences in Mumbai might have changed you and therefore have developed doubts about your engagement. A few sessions of counselling are recommended for arriving at a proper decision.
