Q. I AM A STUDENT OF IX. SOME BOYS IN MY SCHOOL ALWAYS TEASE ME BY A BOY’S NAME AND WHEN I PASS THROUGH THEIR WAY THEY RUN AWAY AND BEHAVE AS IF I AM UNTOUCHABLE. THE SAME PROBLEM PERSISTS IN LABS AND COMPUTER ROOMS. I NEVER TEASED THEM AND I ALSO DON’T KNOW WHO THEY ARE. I STARTED IGNORING THEM BUT THAT DIDN’T HELP MUCH EITHER. THE PROBLEM IS PERSISTING FROM THE PAST 6 MONTHS FROM THE DAY IX STARTED. MY PARENTS DON’T KNOW THIS. I GO TO THEM TO THEM TO CONFRONT THEM BUT THEY ALL RUN AWAY. I FEEL BADLY INSULTED. NOWADAYS I ONLY DON’ PASS THROUGH THEIR WAY AS I DON’T WANT TO GET INSULTED. TEACHERS ARE NOT TAKING ACTION. NOW ALMOST EVERY BOY IN IX ARE BEHAVING WITH ME IN THE SAME WAY. NOW I FEEL VERY SHY, AWKWARD AND RESERVED TO CONFRONT THEM. PLEASE HELP ME OUT.
Ans. You seem to have a victim of bullying and ragging. They may have chosen you as you may be a quiet and submissive person. This can happen with any one at school and college. In fact ragging has been banned by educational institutions due to its severe negative psychological effects. It is understandable what you are going through but you have been a brave girl. Now, you could two things- one is to take your parents into confidence and tell them to complain to the Principal or else you could approach her/him and tell your problem. Also tell them that ragging is a crime and must be checked by the school authorities. It is their duty and obligation to protect students. Teachers are not just supposed to teach subjects but care for students in all ways possible. Do not keep quiet and suffer in silence- go and complain. If they don’t listen shout. Take the support of parents to do it.
Q. I have a small problem- I am a very emotional person and I cry over any small thing. Whenever I am under pressure, say someone scolds me, I had a small fight with my friends or even when I am angry. Sometimes even I don’t understand why I cry over such silly reasons. I try to control myself but it’s hard for me. At times it gets really embarrassing for me because I am 20 years old and it is not common for people of my age to cry so much. I have been like this right since my childhood. Is there any way that I can control my crying?
Ans. You have a high degree of emotionality in your personality and may have depressive traits. You can be helped with regular counseling sessions for personality improvement and building of coping skills. You may have had a troubled childhood due to circumstances beyond your control. But now as you grow up it is your duty to help yourself grow up and learn better ways of handling yourself. As you realize such a personality will always be a source of trouble for you besides embarrassment. So go ahead and seek some training for self improvement.
Q. I am a student of B.E. My parents have invested a lot of money for my studies. But I am not able to give back much value for the money they are spending. Like all students I too study and put in my efforts but I am not able to remember my studies. That is why I score poor marks in exams. I feel useless and worthless as a person. I feel like committing suicide and getting rid of my life. Please guide as to what should I do. I hope you will give a solution.
Ans. One possibility is that engineering may not be your line of career not because you are a bad student but because you do not have the aptitude for it. Everyone is different in their areas of talent and abilities and hence students have to make the right choice of their line of studies. You might have made a wrong choice and spent a lot of money for it. You should come for career guidance and counseling even now to take a decision for future. You could bring your parents too for the session. Instead of wasting more time and suffering you should actively try to solve the problem and seek the best solution possible.
Published in The Hitavada – Emotions – for 6 Feb 2011