“Conflicting emotions create doubt”- 24 August 2014.
Q. I have studied PG in merchandising from Mumbai. Basically I am from Nagpur. A week before I went to Mumbai to get my documents and that was the last time I visited Mumbai I guess because I am getting engaged. I was in a relationship since 3 years. My family accepted nicely. The day I came back from Mumbai I feel like crying every day. I am unable to find out the reason. I feel very low. I eat less. I don’t feel hungry. I forget things easily. I feel lost somewhere. I miss one of my friend of Mumbai a lot. Whenever my mother asks or says me anything my tears come out. I can’t control myself from crying. I feel like to run away from here. I shared this with my boyfriend and he consoled me but still I feel something is missing. My parents are worrying and asking me that am I not happy with this engagement after all everything is of my choice. But I am happy and the thing is I feel little nervous that’s it. I don’t know why my ears and eyes and mind concentrate on everything related to Mumbai. I should feel happy with my boyfriend. I feel very depressed. Why I miss that friend a lot. We have very strong bonding but we haven’t spent much time last week. I didn’t miss him when I was in Nagpur after my completion of course. Then why now?? I keep finding the reasons to go back to Mumbai. I used to the freedom. I haven’t shared this with anyone except the friend I miss a lot. I can’t concentrate in my work. My parents are noticing that something is fishy. Everybody ask me what happened then again I feel like crying a lot. I can’t find words to explain what is going on. Even I am not clear that what’s wrong with me. Please help.
Ans. It seems you have conflicting emotions in your mind. There could be some sort of attachment that you have developed for that friend in Mumbai. It could be a fantasy, an infatuation or something more deep and serious. This needs introspection and exploration of your mind and emotions. It is suggested that you do not rush into marriage even though you are engaged to your fiancé. You also talk about the freedom that you experienced in Mumbai and that you miss it. Your experiences in Mumbai might have changed you and your perceptions about life and therefore have developed doubts about your engagement. A few sessions of counselling is recommended for arriving at a proper decision.
Q. I am studying in 12th with General science. I like to write and interested in journalism. I am also interested in doing MBA. So is there any good interesting option of career I can do before MBA. Please tell me about good careers related to my interests. Thanking you.
Ans. The courses in journalism are post graduate courses after you graduate. You could take humanities and opt for subjects like political science, sociology, economics and literature of your choice such as English or Hindi or Marathi. After graduation you proceed with a graduation in journalism and then do an MBA in mass communication. But it all depends upon your aims and goals in life and what you would enjoy doing in your in the long run. Kindly come for a session of career counselling before you take the final plunge into choosing a line so that you are very sure about your choice.
Q. I was in relationship. Now I am unable to forget him. I am giving bank exams but unable to concentrate. Please help.
Ans. Relationships are like an addiction- difficult to forget and give up. It is not easy to forget or wipe out the memories, they fade away with time and /or if you find another relationship that is satisfying. Career building is an important aspect of life as is your personal side. You should not spoil one for the other. Both sides of life have to be managed well. A balance needs to be struck always. If your personal life is empty learn to live with it happily in spite of it. Take care of your career and enjoy that aspect to the fullest. You can improve your concentration by detaching your mind from memories. All the best for your exams.