Develop positive self image 9 July 2023

Anonymous
Q. I am a 17 year- old girl, lately I am not feeling good about myself and my body. I have always been skinny, since childhood, but I have started hating myself for the way I look. I do not feel confident at all and feel like nobody will ever like me. I end up crying a lot and feel like doing nothing. All this is affecting my studies as well. Please help me.

Ans. The crux of a good personality is the ‘self-image’. How you think and feel about yourself is the essence or the core of a healthy and positive personality. The other qualities of the personality follow the core being strong and intact. Otherwise you will be constantly haunted by your weaknesses and limitations. Not everyone looks like a ‘beauty queen’ and everyone need not look like one. People are born with different features and different shapes and sizes. We believe in diversity and equity where are respected as human beings and the physical attributes take the lowest priority. What matters are your good human qualities and your talents and achievements. You need to improve your self- esteem. List out your strengths and weaknesses and love yourself in spite of all weaknesses. Boost your self-image by talking positives to yourself and reminding yourself of your strengths. Set goals and pursue them with a single focus and see the success.
XYZ
Q. I’m a 26 year -old woman, working in an IT company. Recently, my parents have started looking for boys- “grooms” for my marriage. However, I feel I am not able to prepare myself mentally for such a big transition in my life. I am scared and get thoughts like “what if my marriage fails?” or “what if I’m not able to adapt to this change and ruin everything?” This is causing me to overthink a lot and I get frustrated easily whenever this topic comes up. Please guide. 

Ans. You do not seem to be prepared for marriage and that is fine. The topic of marriage makes you anxious and fearful. It makes you overthink about all the negative possibilities. If you are not prepared for it please tell your parents to give you some more time, such as, a year or two more, to pursue your career seriously with a single- minded focus. Perhaps you will be prepared then to take the step. If you have a general anxiety about marriage because of some specific bad experience and subsequent beliefs, then you need to come for counselling and get your fears and beliefs corrected. Such type of negativity about marriage will be defeating in the long run and may deprive you of good married life.