“Honesty is the best policy”- 14 June 2015.

J.B

Q. I’m in my final year of mechanical engineering actually I’m always an average student  upto 6th semester My aggregate is 68% . So plez tell me what to do so that I will well setup in my life.

Ans. After graduation you can take up a job if you do well in campus interviews or else you can continue to be a student of engineering by doing M.Tech.  Another option is to do a management programme after graduation. This can be done after two to three years of service too. There are always choices provided you decide what your aims are in life. If the confusion continues a session of career counselling will be very helpful.

XYZ.

Q. i need your advice . i am in love with a girl from last 3 years .  she didn’t love me . i have made many mistakes . she was in relationship with another boy but now she broke up . my main intension is not be be her boyfriend . i just want to win her trust and love . she knew about my feelings before but now i have put her in illusion so she don’t know about my feelings now . i just want 2 see her happy , if she like another boy then i will give my respect to her choice . i think this only means true love.

Ans. I do not know if you are trying to prove something to her or to yourself or you are trying to make amends to your mistakes committed? Yes this is surprising and feels good to know that you want to be with her in an unselfish way. Your intentions seem honest and noble and she should be able to see that with some time. The first thing to do is not to push her in any way by contacting her often or troubling her. Sometimes being too helpful when the other person does not want your help can be irritating too. I do not know where and how you can meet her. Another way is to leave her alone and let her contact you when she needs you. Another option is to find someone for yourself who loves and likes you equally and get together with her. In such a situation as you mention you might feel frustrated soon.

Anonymous.

Q. I have been in a relationship for last two years when i got committed i had no feelings and a yr before i got committed i refused the guy once.i was very lonely wen i got committd ,he was my school frend and i had known him for vry long.we have broken up 4 5 times coz the guy is immature and i felt i had no feelings for him bt evrytym we brokeup he wud convince me to give him one chance ,i wud feel guilty,also i used to miss him badly.From last eight mnths we havnt brokenup and are in a long distance relationshp bt wenevr i meet him i feel his immature behaviour and have doubts abt continuing the relationshp.
Sumtyms i feel nobody is perfect and thnk immature behaviour can b ignored coz as a person he is really nice and loves me a lot  bt at the same tym i feel scared thnkn abt spendn my whole lyf I have my doubts dnt know wt to do.

Ans. There is a great difference in being friendly with a person and marrying the person. When you say that you are committed I assume that you mean that you have agreed to marry him. If that is true then you should call it off and tell him that you can at best be friends with him but cannot marry him. At least get the burden off your chest and be guilt free. In case he throws a tantrum and promises to improve which he is going to do you still should stick to your decision and tell him plainly that the idea of marriage is off for the moment. If you can continue the friendship in a way you want it, please do so but the illusion of you loving him should not be there. Honesty pays.