“Open the communication channels”- 22 June 2015.
Q. I have cleared my hotel management entrance exam with a good rank, but my financial situation does not allow me to go for the course. I am planning to do law from Nagpur as it is reasonable, please help me out with this confusion, I even tried loans and scholarship but it is not possible. I even enjoy studying law subjects please help.
Ans. Sure- go ahead and do law by all means since you can afford it and you like it too. Where is the confusion? Taking loan is one option for the other course of hotel management that you mention but you should have a repayment plan as well. With a degree in law you could proceed with a post graduate degree in business management and get into a hotel in the managerial capacity. Change of careers is possible and people are doing it all the time. Sometimes it is likely that you would want to continue with law itself if you develop a great liking to it. So go ahead and do law.
Q. A friend of mine is in a lot of problem. We are preparing for JEE and are currently in class 12. She is extremely well in studies in fact she is our institute’s topper but of lately she has been too stressed with her mother. Actually our schedule at the institute is too long it starts 6:30 in morning till 3:30 or at times 5:00 pm by the time we reach back home we are too tired for anything she drowses and sleeps for which her mother keeps shouting too much at her also my friend believes even if she doesn’t take admission in an English tuition she can manage at it herself also we don’t have the time for another tuition class I suggested that you explain it to your mother but she told me that she is not ready to listen about anything. I cannot see her in so much pain please suggest something. Waiting for your reply.
Ans. It would be worth listening to the mother one day patiently to know her reservations and her grievances. She may have come to know about your friendship and that may be troubling her? We do not know the exact reason why her mother is misbehaving. We need to find that out first. Please tell her to have a dialogue with her mother and to first listen to her patiently. After that she should try explaining to her mother her viewpoint. Most mothers will understand the priorities and also the compulsions of studies as well as the challenges that students undergo. She should ask her mother to help her fix her schedules under the present circumstances. That will help both the daughter and her mother communicate their difficulties. That is the main thing -to open the communication channel.
Q. I was working as deputy manager in a bank. There I got into relationship with my colleague. Later she got married 2 years ago and got transferred. But we were always in contact. After some time her spouse discovered our relation. Still she contacts me from her office. Now she is ignoring me too much and I can’t let her memories off from my mind.
I live alone and get depressed frequently. Thoughts of blackmailing her to meet me, which is completely wrong, comes to my mind. Various negative thoughts flood my mind. I cannot focus on anything. I am all messed up and nervousness is affecting me considerably.
Please help me. Waiting for your response.
Ans. Now that she is married it would be appropriate for you to leave her alone and allow her to settle in with her husband. You should not think selfishly but think for her welfare. If you love and want her to be happy then you should leave her alone and find your happiness elsewhere. You could find another partner or find a hobby which interests you deeply. Find a creative goal for yourself. You could also explore exercising or learning a sport. What about doing social work and helping the needy. There are many options in life to make us meaningfully engaged. Romantic love is also important but now it’s too late with this friend. If you loved her so much wonder you did not marry her first? Do not be selfish but be good to her. She is trying to adjust and be faithful to her marital commitment and she is doing the best thing for herself. You too must find the best possible option for your life.