“Know what you want” 7 July 2024.

Anonymous 

Q. I am stuck in a heartbreaking situation. I have come to know that my father is having an extra marital affair with his colleague in office. I saw their pictures where they were standing in close vicinity and then at a restaurant holding hands. And when I asked my father about it, he at first denied it but then confessed of liking that other woman. He is warning me not to say anything in front of my mother and other family members, but I am not understanding what to do. I feel helpless and aggressive at the same time. I feel my mother should know about this but she might not be able to deal with the pain, since she is very sensitive. Please guide me through this! I am unable to manage my emotions now.

Ans. This is unfortunate indeed. I would suggest you keep the news to yourself and between you and your father. Do not break his trust and do not hurt your mother with the news. It may be a passing fancy and your father may correct himself and his behavior. If he has promised you something, trust him to do so. Calm your mind and do not over-react. I know it may have come as a shock but these things happen. Life is not a straight line. It has curves and bends. You keep your focus on your studies and leave it to the couple to handle their affairs. You enjoy your life and rest assured your father will work out the best solution for himself. You, stay out of it for now.

K.K

Q. I came across my senior family friend in a party. We exchanged numbers began meeting and exchanging gifts. He confessed his love but I refused. Post few months I felt the same and I proposed to him to which he rejected my offer without telling me the reason. We were still meeting and one day my friends compared me with his sister who was my classmate. Hence, I started treating him like a brother and then he henceforth he is not talking to me. He is accepting good morning and good night. He is calling but remains silent. I don’t know what to do??

Ans. The confusion seems to be more in your mind!! You have been pretty erratic in your behavior. You first reject him, then you propose him and he rejects you; then you start treating him like a brother and now you are confused with his behavior!! First, know what you want and feel about the guy. Understand your own emotions and behavior. Then send him a message if you feel like. His silence is understandable as he has realized that you do not know what you want. So the question is- what do you want? Once you answer the question, then send a clear message to him. He may be waiting for you and may want more clarity from your end. All the best to you.