“Rebellion without a cause is destructive” 21 July 2024.
XYZ, Raipur.
Q. My staff has a daughter who is very rebellious and stubborn. She is in 9th std. Her daughter has run away from home many times and parents have searched, found and brought her back several times. A few days back she ran again but till then the situation had become very severe. She went to some girl’s house who lived in a Muslim area far away from her home. The police complaint was lodged by parents and they found her at some party at 2 am. The girl has no guilt for what she has done. She does what she wants to do. She takes money from people and spends it by roaming around with friends/boyfriend. She is not scared of her mother or father. She doesn’t want to study. She bunks her school many times and goes out with friends. Mother and father’s condition is such that they don’t tell her anything because they are scared, as she could run from home once again. It has become very difficult to handle her. Please suggest some solution.
Ans. This is a conduct disorder and if left untreated will become worse. She is behaving like a delinquent and soon will land up with petty crime and such escapades. Her parents are not handling her well for she needs to be controlled and checked with more strictness. If she does not want to study, she may have a learning disorder, in which case, she needs to be guided properly for a vocational career of her choice. She needs guidance and a proper direction has to be given to her. It is possible but needs persistent effort.
Anonymous
Q. I live in a joint family and two months ago, I lost my cousin brother through an accident which happened in front of me. It was shocking and terrible to see my brother dying in sight of us(family). I didn’t cry for the first four days and then on the fifth day I went into my room and shed tears for four hours. I was very close to my cousin brother, he was the one with whom I shared all of my secrets and he was the one who understood me without any judgement. I am in a very pathetic situation because I am still struggling through it. I feel that he is there and I can’t sleep because I always see him in my dreams. I feel as if he wants to say something to me. And I get scared sometimes because it often happens to me while I try to sleep. I think of sharing this with someone in my family but then I realize that they are also grieving and I don’t want to make things worse for them. But then I am not able to overcome this I haven’t shared this with anyone. Now I feel I need to because I am not able to function properly in my daily life. Please help!
Ans. I am sorry to hear of your loss and can understand how it feels. Death of a loved one and at such a young age is can be traumatic. Grief takes it own time to heal and follows a certain process of healing. It cannot be speeded up nor ignored- it has to be dealt with. If you cannot share it with anyone and have not been able to do it so far and it still bothers you in many ways, I think a few sessions of counseling would be important for you to get on with life. Please seek an appointment as soon as you can.
