“Resist the pressure” 9 June 2024.


Q. I am a student, currently studying in tenth standard. I have a keen interest in writing poems and stories, art in general. I have represented my school in various competitions and won prizes too. However, my parents keep pressurizing me to opt for science after my boards get over next year and do not let me pursue my hobbies (drawing/reading) saying I will get distracted. They want me to get into IIT and become an engineer. This is affecting my studies as I have started overthinking a lot about my future and am unable to focus on my present. Can you help me convince my parents? I want to take up humanities after my tenth. Please help.

Ans. Parental expectations can be different from the child but imposing their expectations is a different type of pressure. I am glad you are resisting it. One way would be to come for career counselling and we could try to convince your parents for the same. We could also suggest an aptitude test to measure your abilities and interest areas. A systematic assessment and discussion about the pros and cons of various options for career making will help them too to see your point of view and for you to understand their anxieties and expectations. An open- minded discussion with a neutral person helps clear communication and reach a decision which will be win-win.  


Q. I am 19 year- old boy, pursuing B.Com. I have a sister who is in standard ninth. Our mother passed away during COVID-19. Our father works in Chandrapur- he comes home only on weekends or holidays. My sister was a bright student when she was younger, however, since a year or so, she isn’t performing well, has stopped studying seriously and is disinterested in doing anything. It is becoming difficult for me to manage her alone and my father is also unable to understand what is wrong. Should we bring her for a session? Please help us.

Ans. This is unfortunate as you are being an elder brother cum father to your younger sister. Loss of your mother is a major loss to the family and you both siblings. Clearly, your sister is getting into a state of depression since a year you say. I am glad you realize that something is not okay with her and that she needs help. She would need many sessions of counseling and you can bring her with you or with father as well. The earlier you do so the better as depression has a tendency to increase if unattended. It can be handled and she can recover to her original self and start studying again with enthusiasm. Your father too can paly an active role in the situation and talk to her frequently. You need to care for yourself too as you care for your sister. The situation is challenging indeed but can be handled well. I hope you have extended family members to fall back on once a while. Please bring her as soon as possible.

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