Smita (via email)
Q. I have question about my son who is ten and half years old. He is in 5th Standard but he writes very slowly. When he was in primary school till the third standard teacher use to give plenty of time to write so he will able to complete it neatly but slowly as now he has to finish his work in limited time he is not able to complete so he is losing interest in writing and avoids to write rather resists to write and make all possible excuses for not writing.
By seeing the matter on the board he feels it is such big board and he has to write so much. If we ask him to write something he starts counting how much he has to write. For small paragraph he takes lot of time. How should I motivate him to write? I feel that if he cannot perform in school again he will loose interest and so on.
Ans. Your son has dysgraphia which is a problem with writing – a type of learning disorder. About eight to ten percent of school- going- children suffer from various types of learning disorders, one of which is a deficit in writing. Such learning deficits are recognized by almost all Indian boards of education today and there are specified concessions for such children. All schools are required to honor these government resolutions (GR) by recognizing such children in their schools and taking care of them in different ways. Firstly, it would be necessary for you to get your child psychologically assessed and diagnosed properly for learning disorders by a trained psychologist and then chalk out the remedial program for your son. You could then talk to the school authorities for in-class inputs. They are legally bound to help such children. I could help you with the psychological evaluation and remedial suggestions.
Anonymous (via email)
Q. My problem is that although I am married to a good family my husband is also very good but the problem is that he is having business and due to this he is not able to give much time to family. He leaves home by 9 in the morning and comes back by 10 in the night. It’s been 5 yrs of our marriage and I am having a 2 year old son. We never went out for a trip or tour—the basic thing is that he is not interested or his field don’t allow him. When I see my friends enjoying their life–spending quality time, hanging out, spending vacations abroad I feel very sad. I had talked this matter to my husband but the consequence is that we end up in a fight. He is working even on Sundays also. I am in depression- I want to live life to its fullest but my husband is not interested in it. But above all he loves me a lot. Please help me and get me the remedy.
Ans. It is very important to balance life in all the spheres of existence which includes family and play besides work. Work cannot be the beginning and end of everything. You could negotiate with your husband for a few day outings in a month. The rest of the time you could organize with your other family members and friends. If you are a social person make a few or many friends as you like and keep yourself busy. If your husband understands your need and is able to spend a few days with you that should make you happy. To spend time together is very important for a couple but to be happy is your responsibility alone.
N. (via email)
Q. I am a 22 year old boy and going to do B.Tech this year after passing polytechnic. I am in love with a girl since last 2 years. I love her a lot but unfortunately she is my niece. Well but this is not too close relation as she is my paternal aunt’s grand daughter. She is preparing for MBA-CET this year. Of course we are good friends..! I have not proposed her yet but thinking to propose her after getting admission in B.tech 2nd year. Is this kind of marriage possible in Hindu religion? Should I propose her? Please help!!
Ans. The relation does sound to be distant enough to marry her according to me. However, you may like to consult a religious scholar for the question you have in mind. You could try broaching the subject to her and mark her response. You may be lucky enough to get her attention and approval as well!
Published in The Hitavada – Emotions Column 25 July 2010