“Adoption a good decision” 10 October 2021

 

Atul.

Q. I am a student of 12 Standard and I’m confused about my career. I do not know what to do in future. I am not much interested in studies and love to play games. I am good in cricket and other games too but my parents feel I must study and take a degree for future. No subject interests me and I have taken commerce and dropped science. But I cannot do CA or something like that for I don’t like math or accounting. I will have to study for there is no escape. How can you help me and what should I tell my parents about it?

Ans. It is good to have a graduation for that helps in many ways in future, whether you use it or not. Unless you are sure of being self -employed or starting a business. Even then a graduation will help in getting loans from banks. Did you want to make a career in sports and are you actually good at it with potential? Even sport-persons pursue degrees on the side. Will you be able to do BBA instead of B.Com, if you don’t like accounts? Or a B.A with subjects of humanities? Besides the degree, it is important to plan your long-term career first and think of the degree. I need to know your strengths and skills before we help you. A session on career guidance will help sort out many dark areas and give more clarity. You could bring your parents along. Tell your parents you need guidance for career planning.

XYZ,

Q. I have been married for 4 years and we are still childless. We have been married and happy with everything else in life. We have taken medical treatment for last two years with no result. I am now very disappointed and frustrated with my life. We both want a child and would love to have one. I am suggesting to my husband to adopt a child from an orphanage but he does not agree to the idea. He wants to take a child from a known relative or friend but not from the orphanage. This hurts me a lot for I tell him that all children are God’s children and we should be happy to adopt one child of an unknown origin who will belong only to us. A relative’s child will not be our own when the child grows up and begins to understand reality. My husband is full of fears and hence reluctant to adopt a child. What should I do and how to convince him?

Ans. I have worked in the field of adoption and I can say that it is a very noble deed. An orphan gets a home and you become a parent. There are innumerable orphans in India and you should apply for adoption through a registered orphanage with due legal proceedings. That secures the adoption and the child to you. The process is irreversible. Adopting a child from a relative is not a good idea for the grown up child can have emotional swings. The biological parents too can have some emotional issues. About your husband’s reluctance, it is quite a common phenomenon, due to the prevailing values and belief systems. But there is hope. I have seen reluctant partners not able to agree to a child of unknown origins but I have seen them changing their minds when they visit an orphanage and see the beautiful babies. I believe many times a baby chooses a parent when they see the parent visiting the orphanage and the parent falls in love with the child as well. It is a divine connect, beyond human understanding. I have seen it happening in several instances. I would suggest a visit to an orphanage will help your husband change his outlook. Just look around the center without the pressure to decide anything. Anyway the process is a lengthy one and takes time. Hence you should start now. All the best to you for a good decision.

 

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