“Set priorities” 26 September 2021



Q. My daughter is suffering from PCOD since two years when she went to standard 11. She is not doing well in her studies and as she was a very good student, she is now dropping her level of education and has become an average student. This bothers her and bothers the family as well for she was an ambitious child and wanted to become a computer engineer in her career. She remains in her room most of the times and talks to a few friends. If we ask her questions, she does not like it and shows irritation. She once mentioned that she would like to talk to a psychologist. Can you help her? We stay far away and cannot come to meet you. Can you help her on telephone and will she be alright? We don’t want her to spoil her year and her career. Please help me.

Ans. Yes, we can help her online through phone or video calls through zoom, skype or even WhatsApp. In fact, my consultations are all online since onset of Corona last year. PCOD is a stress related disorder and is fast increasing among adolescents. Stress in turn can lead to mild depression which can disturb concentration, inter-personal relationships, self- confidence, desire to do well and so many factors. Irritation is also a symptom of depression. Such emotional swings are quite common in teenagers and adolescents and we need to help them. This is a time for multiple developmental tasks, such as career making, identity formation, peer handling, defining friendships with opposite sex, body image etc. We can talk to her and help her identify ways and means of building coping skills, adjusting and adapting, relaxing her mind for harmony, positive thinking and exercising for PCOD. A few sessions will be helpful for her.


Q. I study in 12 standard and I’m a bright student aspiring for engineering. I want to do the exam of JEE entrance and I know I can do it easily. I’m a hardworking student and seriously want to make a good career. My parents are good people but recently something happened between them which has upset me and the family. They had a serious fight between themselves and I do not know the reason for it. I suspect it is something serious for my mother was crying and trying to hide her tears from me. She tells me not to worry and to focus on my exams but I cannot see my mother crying and get upset. If I see her upset I cannot study. She has become very silent and quiet and does not talk to my father much. She is doing her duties, cooking food and keeping the house clean and neat and sometimes also sleeps in a separate room. I understand that there are issues between parents but the suspense is killing me and affecting my studies. I cannot stop wondering what is going on and what must have happened. My father mostly stays away from home a lot these days. Please help me in somehow. Thank you.

Ans. Thanks for writing about your concerns. It is unfortunate that trouble has erupted among your parents and they are maintaining a quiet and distance from each other. If they are keeping away from each other is a way to resolve the issues and the fact that they together in the same house is a good sign. That they are no longer fighting is a good sign and an indication that things will sort out in the near future. Please focus and concentrate on your exams and do well. Do not miss the opportunity as you may not regret it later. Learn to postpone your emotions and family concerns till your exams are over. Set your priorities and set your goal. When you decide your priorities, you push everything else to the back bench and deal with it later. Your parents are stable at the moment and nothing harsh will happen I can assure you. Once your exams are over, you can spend time with them and negotiate matters. Parents do listen to adult children. Meanwhile first things come first. Do well and be proud of yourself.


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