“An open mind opens possibilities”- 1 May 2016.
Q. I was always a career minded woman. Before I married I was working in a company in my own city. At marriage I had told my would- be husband that I want to work and he had said he is okay with it. But after my marriage he asked me to wait for some time so that we could settle down and then I could look for a job. The place where I got married is a remote place and does not have jobs for the work I do. After two years of marriage I am getting frustrated and this is interfering in our relationship. My husband blames me for being unreasonable and angry and to be patient. He is advising me to do other types of jobs which I do not like to do? Please guide me properly what to do and how to do it. I love my husband and want to stay with him. He is a nice man and cares for me too.
Ans. This is not an uncommon situation for a woman after marriage. Because she has to re-locate to her marital home she has to make many specific adjustments. I can empathise with you and your plight and your sense of growing frustration. One way could be that you could open your mind to newer and different possibilities in the area where you stay and explore them seriously. Meet and talk to a few people who can guide you and be open to new ideas. Something will come along. You should also explore being self employed and become an entrepreneur. Do your own thing whatever you are good at. Come for a session of counselling if possible if you cannot decide.
Q. I love a boy from another caste and my parents are very much against it. He is a very nice and sincere person and cares for me a lot. I cannot live without him. Please do not ask me to break the relationship. He is a little older to me and is working. I am going to complete my graduation soon and will look for a job soon. He will help me search for a job. My parents feel that he is spoiling my life as I can get many good boys from my caste and who are better educated with better salaries. But I love this boy and we have been friends since 6 years now. How can I give him up? I want your correct advice on this matter. He is not very rich but we will both work and make a good living. I am ready to work hard and be with him.
Ans. This is a choice you have to make which I agree is difficult. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the proposal and decide. Besides the caste factor which is not a major factor according to me, you might look into the financial differences between the two of you and the cultural differences. Life style differences can be a serious source of stress for both as it is a daily hassle. You might like to wait for some more time before you take the final plunge. Hence first finish your education, take up a job, work for some time, have a look at reality and then do a reality check with your choice.
Q. I appeared for my JEE entrance and I think I have not done well in my 12 th exams too. I have always been a good student but this time I don’t know what happened to me I have messed up my papers. I had studied but not so much as I should have. I did get distracted into other things with my friends and now I feel I have done the wrong thing. What should I do now? Should I repeat my 12th and my entrance exams? Or should I just take admission wherever I get it? The big question is what is the best thing to do? My parents feel I have done well for I have been telling them lies about my exams. But I am very depressed now. I thought of committing suicide but that is not going to happen too. Please guide me madam.
Ans. This would require more thought and discussion. It would be difficult for me to direct you to make a choice now. Once your results are out and your parents realise your goof up, you could come for a session of counselling with them. We need to explore both the options of repeating the year and of joining other courses suitable to you. The choice is to be made on the basis of your goals and dreams and on the basis of your aptitude, and your personality factors. Including parents in the process of counselling will be appropriate.