“Career and personality fit”- 25 November 2012

Anonymous.

Q. I am a final year MBBS student from Nagpur. I am in a stable relationship with a guy who is doing his engineering from another city. Although it is a long distance relationship, we never faced any kind of problems due to distance because we love each other very much. His family is very sweet and they have accepted me as their would be daughter-in-law. In fact they treat me like their own daughter. I visit them quite often. My family though is not accepting this relationship as we belong to different professions and also different castes. It’s been one and a half year my father doesn’t speak to me at all. I have tried to convince him many times but he just doesn’t want to think about it. He hasn’t even met the guy or his family. Because of this, there is constantly a strained environment in my home which makes me feel very depressed all the time. I also don’t have much friends as my family doesn’t allow me to go and hang out. I am constantly feeling sleepy, I’m not able to concentrate. I am writing this mail to you with my final exams just 4 days away. I am not at all prepared for this exam and there’s a little chance that I’ll clear it with so little preparation. I have never had any setbacks regarding academics but now I’m scared about it. Kindly help me.
Ans. It would be important to know what exactly your parents think and feel about your boyfriend and his family. They may have some important areas for consideration which you are not able to see. However it is unfortunate that your parents have issues over caste and different professions. They also do not appreciate your having friends and friendships. They may be their own set of fixed ideas on this which they refuse to give up. It requires an open mind to accept new ideas and thoughts. If your father does not talk to you then I guess he is a dominating person. This is not your fault and cannot do much about it. The best thing for you to do is to make your career as best as you can and earn your freedom by being on your two steady feet. That gives you enough confidence to lead your own life. There are still some more years before you marry so meanwhile remain happy and focused on your one point agenda of becoming a doctor. All the best.

P.S

Q. I am a 2nd year student of engineering. I feel extremely lethargic and sleepy since past 1 year. I don’t feel like attending classes. I get bored. I am a bright student. But these days I have lost interest in studies for no reason. My lifestyle has changed a lot. I am always late for classes. And my score in exams has also become very poor. I lost all my dedication concentration and love for studies. Kindly suggest some ways to become the same hardworking dedicated career focused girl like I was till 12 th Std. I love engineering very much and I want to really excel in my college but somehow I am not able to do it due to my lazyness, lack of focus. Kindly guide me.

Ans. You might be suffering from some sort of depression which might have crept in. If you enjoy engineering and your college then you have to look for answers elsewhere. Is there a problem in your family life or with your friends? Are you stressed due to some factor? You could analyse your life and search for some probable answers for the decline in your moods and concentration. If you cannot help yourself then a few sessions of counselling will help you overcome this stalemate. Do not delay and procrastinate longer.

XYZ.

Q. I am a working in a good company with a good salary. Somehow I am feeling that I need to change this job and profession. There is much confusion about it in my mind. Can you help me in any way? What should I do?

Ans. Psychology offers solutions to all kind of problems related to your life whether it be your career, marriage or general issues. We could help you with career planning after discussions and assessment of your personality type. You either try to change your personality to suit the requirement of the specific job which is tedious or alternately you choose a job that fits your personality type which is more rewarding and easier on your mind. So relax and come for a session of counselling on career.

Anonymous.

Q. I am a final year MBBS student from Nagpur. I am in a stable relationship with a guy who is doing his engineering from another city. Although it is a long distance relationship, we never faced any kind of problems due to distance because we love each other very much. His family is very sweet and they have accepted me as their would be daughter-in-law. In fact they treat me like their own daughter. I visit them quite often. My family though is not accepting this relationship as we belong to different professions and also different castes. It’s been one and a half year my father doesn’t speak to me at all. I have tried to convince him many times but he just doesn’t want to think about it. He hasn’t even met the guy or his family. Because of this, there is constantly a strained environment in my home which makes me feel very depressed all the time. I also don’t have much friends as my family doesn’t allow me to go and hang out. I am constantly feeling sleepy, I’m not able to concentrate. I am writing this mail to you with my final exams just 4 days away. I am not at all prepared for this exam and there’s a little chance that I’ll clear it with so little preparation. I have never had any setbacks regarding academics but now I’m scared about it. Kindly help me.
Ans. It would be important to know what exactly your parents think and feel about your boyfriend and his family. They may have some important areas for consideration which you are not able to see. However it is unfortunate that your parents have issues over caste and different professions. They also do not appreciate your having friends and friendships. They may be their own set of fixed ideas on this which they refuse to give up. It requires an open mind to accept new ideas and thoughts. If your father does not talk to you then I guess he is a dominating person. This is not your fault and cannot do much about it. The best thing for you to do is to make your career as best as you can and earn your freedom by being on your two steady feet. That gives you enough confidence to lead your own life. There are still some more years before you marry so meanwhile remain happy and focused on your one point agenda of becoming a doctor. All the best.

P.S

Q. I am a 2nd year student of engineering. I feel extremely lethargic and sleepy since past 1 year. I don’t feel like attending classes. I get bored. I am a bright student. But these days I have lost interest in studies for no reason. My lifestyle has changed a lot. I am always late for classes. And my score in exams has also become very poor. I lost all my dedication concentration and love for studies. Kindly suggest some ways to become the same hardworking dedicated career focused girl like I was till 12 th Std. I love engineering very much and I want to really excel in my college but somehow I am not able to do it due to my lazyness, lack of focus. Kindly guide me.

Ans. You might be suffering from some sort of depression which might have crept in. If you enjoy engineering and your college then you have to look for answers elsewhere. Is there a problem in your family life or with your friends? Are you stressed due to some factor? You could analyse your life and search for some probable answers for the decline in your moods and concentration. If you cannot help yourself then a few sessions of counselling will help you overcome this stalemate. Do not delay and procrastinate longer.

XYZ.

Q. I am a working in a good company with a good salary. Somehow I am feeling that I need to change this job and profession. There is much confusion about it in my mind. Can you help me in any way? What should I do?

Ans. Psychology offers solutions to all kind of problems related to your life whether it be your career, marriage or general issues. We could help you with career planning after discussions and assessment of your personality type. You either try to change your personality to suit the requirement of the specific job which is tedious or alternately you choose a job that fits your personality type which is more rewarding and easier on your mind. So relax and come for a session of counselling on career.

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