“Convert your negative emotion into creativity”- 2nd December 2012

Mrs. Patel.

Q. My child has a problem with his speech and he is not clear and he stammers a bit too. Doctors say that he will improve but it is affecting his school and studies. He has gone to pre-primary. I am worried what if he does not speak. Please help me with what I should do? Can counselling help?

Ans. Speech delays are not uncommon in children. As the doctors say that he will regain his speech soon, rest assured that he will start speaking soon. Going to school also helps him grow as he observes children talking. Of course physical development takes it own time but once they begin to speak they go about the growth speedily and make up for the loss of time. Please do not worry too much but do keep track of his development. Sometimes children begin to speak by age three and then there are no signs of any previous delay. Just wait for the right time. You can bring him for counselling so that we can make an assessment.

Anonymous.

Q. We have been friends since childhood and have been through many good and bad times. We were neighbours earlier and also classmates and it was a great friendship. Now as we have grown up and have gone to college he has changed his ways with him. As if he does not like me at all. He compares me to other girls in his class and keeps talking of other smart girls in his class. We are in different courses of study but in the same college but he has begun to ignore me I think. It is very hurting and I cannot take it any longer. I feel like changing my college and my city and running away from here. Why he is doing this I do not understand. We were the best of friends till a year ago. I wish I could go back to school again. Please help me save my mind and my studies. I have lost all interest in my subjects.

Ans. This happens many times as friends grow apart as they grow up as they gain new experiences, new ideas and values. This is unfortunate for many who still cling to the old and are more loyal and steadfast in their approach to life. This may be just a phase for him and he may grow out of it but that cannot be predicted when he would do so. It is very hurting to lose childhood friends of long standing but that is how life is. Accepting the fact as soon as possible will help you get over it. Also try and make new friends (girls of course) and cultivate new hobbies. Focus on your studies and show others that you are capable of good things. Convert your negative emotion of being hurt into something creative and satisfying. Utilise the emotion and the situation of being lonely positively. Do not get into depression at any cost. Stay happy and cheerful.

Zylie.

Q. My boyfriend exploited me by asking me for favours and I gave in. I feel guilty and used and very angry. I cannot sleep well and have lost weight also. I cannot tell my parents about this, for they will kill me. I do not have any brother or sister. I am a alone child and stay with my aunty. My parents live in the village and they trust me a lot. They think I am a good student and I will fulfil their dreams of becoming a good officer in the government. What to do? I want to die and commit suicide. I cannot face my family due to my guilt and will he go and tell them about me? I am not sleeping well and not feel like eating food. I do not have girl friends as he was my only friend. Please guide me and help me please.

Ans. You feel guilty, cheated and exploited by your boyfriend. You must forgive yourself for your innocence and foolishness of trusting him. One bad incident should not be the end of your life. You have a long way to go and have to fulfil the dreams of your loving parents. Think about them how they will feel if you think of drastic measures. Do come for counselling if you cannot manage your depression. Focus on your studies and pour all your energies into building a career. Making a career is more satisfying than having a relationship with a boy. Fire him, gave him a piece of your mind and then forget him forever. Be bold and independent and be a good judge of people. Such bad experiences are great for gaining wisdom.