“Do not be a counselor to a friend”-25 September 2011
Q. One and have a year ago I fell in love with a boy madly. We went into relationship. We were together. I loved him so much. I did everything for him. He also loved me but always disappointed me. I cried a lot for him. But I always adjusted. He is very much emotional. I can’t handle him. Now I fell in love with another boy. He too loves me so much. I told previous one that I don’t want to keep our relation. From that moment he stopped eating. He is crying from 7 days. He told everybody that he will do suicide if I don’t go to him. His brother, sister called me and told me not to leave him. But now I have feelings for somebody else not for him and because of me his total family is disturbed. He is even not ready to be good friend with me. Should I compromise my love for those people. I have not yet told him about my new love because of the fear of his suicide. What else I can do? I am very much disturbed. It is affecting my study. Please help me.
Ans. Your previous friend seems to have a personality disorder from the description you give. He is dependent on you and makes threats of committing suicide to get you back into his life. Such a disorder is a liability and a trouble for you. His family should consult a psychologist and get him treated. You cannot be a counselor to a friend. It is best for you to go ahead with your friendship to the new guy. You may not inform his family about your new friendship but do tell them that although you are sympathetic to his emotional problems, you are not interested in maintaining friendship. Be polite but be firm. Do not compromise your love and happiness.
Q. I am a final year student of clinical science. I am planning to do MBA in health care management and even I am preparing for competitive exams. I am very much confused between MBA in H.R and MBA in health care management. I have just 15 days to decide because after then I have to fill up the forms. Please guide me madam which stream I should choose? I am getting into depression. Please help me.
Ans. The choice depends upon your future plans and goals. If you aim to work in the health care sector then MBA in health care management seems to be the best choice. If you have aims of joining any type of industry/ organization then MBA HR will be a better choice for you. MBA HR could also be employed in the health care sector but then only big sized corporate houses may employ them. Please come for consultation if the confusion persists.
Q. I HAVE ONE PROBLEM OF MY COUSIN (50 Years old). RECENTLY HE HAS DEVELOPED AN
UNUSUAL BEHAVIOUR. IF ANY ONE COMES to MEET HIM HE GOES BEHIND THE DOORS and DOES NOT COME OUT OF THE ROOM INSPITE OF SEVERAL CALLS. SOME TIMES HE
RESPONDs to OUR CALLS FROM BEHIND THE DOORS HESITATINGLY. HE IS A
DIVORCEE, DOING SMALL BUSINESS IN HIS HOME TOWN. KINDLY SUGGEST.
Ans. This is unusual behavior and needs investigation. It would be advisable to bring him for a psychological consultation and evaluation. We need more data and feedback on the symptoms, their onset and the history. An early intervention helps in early cure and a delayed treatment proves costly. It is good of you to notice it and be concerned about it.