Q. I am a 2nd year MBBS student in Nagpur. It was my mother’s wish to pursue medico as a career. My father wants me to be an IAS officer. Now, I also developed interest in administrative fields and thinking for IAS entrance rather than preparing for PG MEDICAL ENTRANCE. But acting was always my passion and always wanted to become an actor. Since the field of film line doesn’t grant professional security and career in the administration will definitely be going to provide me with that. I am in a fix between my heart and my brain. My heart wants me to be an actor and my brain wants me to be an IAS officer. So, please help me to get out of this dilemma.
Ans. I would advise you to listen to your brain just now for two reasons- one is that you are already a student of medicine and second being that I assume that you do not have any experience in acting at school or college level. If you have a passion for acting you should have taken part in drama/ theatre at the local level. There are enough drama groups in the city. So as a hobby you could still start doing that at local level, test your abilities and then think of making a career in acting. The option of going into the IAS seems to be a nice choice if you do not feel interested in medicine in the long run. However, in principle, I do not agree to doctors going for IAS since it is a colossal waste of public money. A serious IAS aspirant should prepare for it from the beginning by doing any other graduation rather than doing a professional course. You also rob a serious candidate of a seat in medical college.
Q. I am a 17 year girl studying in class 12th. I have a lot of problems I don’t know if they are really problems. Hope you help me out with it.
1) I’m phobic to so many imaginary things like ghosts- superficial things scare me a lot! I know that these things are not real but still they somehow scare me. My mom scolds me about it.
2) I don’t have self confidence and don’t have a strong will power to do anything. I’m very indecisive in nature due to which I’m facing problems now especially in academics.
3) I have chosen science stream but now I’m facing a lot of difficulty in it but somehow I’m trying to manage it. I realized late that I have made a mistake in choosing the right stream. But no use regretting it – I’m working towards it.
4) My mathematics is weak so teachers comment on it. Actually I’m weak in doing calculations but I understand the subject but a bit slow in writing. This makes me think of the learning disability known as Dyscalculia because I have most of its symptoms- am I affected by it? If yes what shall I do? Please help. 5) I’m very unstable emotionally and become sad very soon due to which many a times I easily get depressed.
6) People criticize me sometimes and I find it hard to look to the positive side and the bad impact
of the harsh things adds on to my low self esteem.
7) I find difficult to concentrate in my studies.
8) I’m a very shy person I don’t talk much and find it difficult to communicate with new people. Due to this I don’t have many friends- it’s not that I’m lonely I have some very good friends when I get to know someone it’s easy for me to connect.
Ans. You do seem to suffer from a lot of problems. But do not worry-there are solutions for such types of problems. It would be difficult to give you suggestions for all the above issues in the column. It would be advisable to come in person and take a few sessions of counseling and therapy. Request your parents that you would like to attend sessions on personality development and take an appointment for the same.
Published in The Hitavada Emotions 21 Nov 2010