ABC (via email)
Q. I am a regular reader of your column. I love a girl so much and she also loves me a lot. We have been in love since past two years but the problem is that now she ignores me and said that “please forget me and all the past”. She doesn’t tell me what is the reason of it. Now she doesn’t attend my phone or reply my messages. All day I am dreaming about her and I can’t concentrate in my studies. Please help me.
Ans. This is irresponsible of her to not tell you the reason for breaking up. You can only guess the same and be content. The fact of the matter is that you cannot force yourself on any person at any time. If she wants to break off it is her choice. But immature behaviour such as hers is always hurtful and troublesome. People become so unpredictable with their behaviour and you can do nothing about it except tell her your mind. You could express your anger and disappointment to her (verbally of course- no physical violence and abuse is recommended) and get it out of your system. Get on with life- do not stagnate. Such people are not worth the time and effort. Do not waste your precious emotions on such a girl.
Anuradha (via email)
Q. I am 19 years old 12th passed student. At present I have taken B.Sc home science. I am very introverted. My weight is 90 kg. My height is 6.2inch. I am afraid of outside people. I don’t feel confident in college. I have no friends. Kindly advise me.
Ans. I would advise you to come for a few sessions of counselling for your problems. You would need to develop your social skills and improve your confidence levels. You also need to decrease your weight. I am sure your height is 5.2 inches and not 6.2 as you mention? This makes you look plump and round. I could help you with both your problems of shyness and obesity. You may have got stuck in a vicious cycle. It is important to break out of it.
XYZ (via email)
Q. I want to consult you since I am having too much problem to concentrate on my studies. I am not able to remember what I am studying. After 2 days I usually forget that even. I am not supported by anyone like I don’t have any elder brother or sister who would guide me. Even due to some family problems I am not able to concentrate on my studies. I scored 92.46% in my SSC examination and now from 2 months I am not able to focus on my career and even I am not getting good marks in my test. Even I am a very sensitive and emotional person so is that affecting my studies. And so please give me a faithful answer so that I can fulfil my parents desires as they have too much expectation from me.
Ans. Something significant must have upset you for you to lose your concentration as you seem to have done well in school finals. Please analyse the reasons and try to sort them out one by one. Unrealistically high expectations of parents can kill your motivation and your desire to study. It would advisable not to fall prey to their pressure and to do what you think is best for you and your future. Be assertive with your parents and tell them your mind and your career plans. Do not allow them to hurt your concentration. Try to keep your negative emotions in control and maintain a positive attitude always. Avoid the negative thoughts and think positive as much as you can.
Published in Hitavada Insight on Jan 03 2010