H.Singh (via email)
Q. I am 16 years old. I find it hard to focus on things, unless I am really interested in them or they are quite simple. While reading or writing, I always tend to think about something else and don’t know what I am reading or writing. All day, I keep talking to myself inside my head and thus, am not able to do things correctly. I am quick tempered and get upset by the very small things. I do things quickly without thinking about the consequences. I am very fidgety and find it hard to sit in one place unless I have something interesting to do and am really hyperactive. Do I have ADHD? If yes, what should I do, because these problems are having a real bad affect on my academics.
Ans. You would have to consult me personally to help you with your problems. Besides hyperactivity you could have specific learning problems. There could be some other type of problem too that could be interfering with your studies. Once I see you I could help you better with the diagnosis and the treatment. Do not hesitate or delay much now.
Anonymous (via email)
Q. I have been married for several years and I just found out that my husband is having an affair with one colleague of his in his office. I did not believe it at first but now it has been told to me by many people. I feel like committing suicide. I feel very depressed and hopeless. He promised me he will leave her but now I do not trust him anymore. That lady’s reputation is not good and I do know why he is after her. She knows how to turn him in her favour and she is only using him in the office for her benefits. Please tell me what to do? Should I leave him? Where will I go?
Ans. This is traumatic and I can understand your emotional upheaval. Please do not think of any drastic actions like attempting harming yourself or leaving the marriage. There are other better options than such negative reactions. First cool your mind and think of all the alternatives that you have in your life. Then choose them one by one and take a decision. Tell him the one immediate decision of yours and let him decide. If he does not show improvement with his wayward behaviour you should go to option two. Hope the crisis will tide over and your life will settle again.
Puja (via email)
Q. I am a B.E graduate from a reputed college from Nagpur. Last year I was placed in an MNC. But I could not clear the training and I had been disturbed ever since. I never had any plans for doing job in a software firm and after I went through the training I realised that I need to work a lot on my programming skills. I am not very interested in it but I have my own family responsibilities and my education loan to look after. I have started working on improving my programming knowledge and applying for jobs. I earlier had thought of saving my salary and pursue my interest which is in media or modelling. My friends tell me that I have good communication skills and I always like to interact with people but I am very confused regarding this as I have never tried my hand at it. Please guide me about how to decide my career. I am afraid of doing something stupid and regretting later.
Ans. You must come for career planning and guidance. You are a qualified engineer and you are planning something in media and modelling. If that is just a hobby the it is understandable but if you are thinking seriously about changing your line then it needs more thought and analysis of your personality traits and interests and aptitude as well. You are right in not taking hasty decisions and regretting later.
Published in The Hitavada Emotions column – 13 June 2010