“Friendships need mature handling”- 9 December 2012


Q. I am in a relationship with a guy. We both love each other very much. In the first new year party I danced with a friend who went and told everyone that ‘she likes me and therefore she danced with me.’ He even went and told my boyfriend about it. He is very angry with me now and does not want to speak to me. What should I do now? I am very upset. Please help me.

Ans. Your boyfriend is behaving slightly in an immature manner. He should understand the tricks guys play to boost their egos falsely. It is not wrong to dance with a friend who asks for it but he has used the occasion to malign you and mess up your friendship with your boyfriend. This speaks about his flawed character. You should keep away from him after this and promise your BF that you have nothing to do with him and that he is the most important person for you. However, your friend also should show some maturity in handling such matters and explain that to him that you expect him to trust you more than he does at the moment. If he still does not want to speak to you, keep away from him and let him realise the truth. Once he does he will approach you. Do not worry. This is a test for both of you and your friendship. Healthy friendships do not break on such flimsy grounds.


Q. I am in 12th Std. I love doing mathematics but I am not interested in engineering. I love biology too and interested in NEET entrance but I hate physics and chemistry. I can’t take them. I can study the answer but when the questions come I write the right answer but of the wrong question? I do maths everyday and without maths I can’t proceed my studies but I am not interested in engineering. What to do with physics and chemistry? My exams are in Feb and now after my half terms I realized when exams answer sheet was corrected that all my answers were wrong what I studied from my coaching notes and now that is today only I bought Gaikwad notes as told by my seniors and now when I studied from it today I am feeling better in understanding the answer and questions and now I am able to do it I feel. I am good at biology and maths ma’am and my college time is from 7 to 3 and tuition is 5 to 9. I can’t manufacture time to self study? I want to know what career should I pursue according to my interest and how shall I make a study pattern to get success?

Ans. You could opt for Biotechnology with maths and biology both being your favourite subjects. You could also opt for commerce and accountancy with maths and forget biology. Another choice could be B.Sc in Mathematics to begin with and further /higher studies only in maths. You could pursue only maths (pure science) and forget engineering which is known as applied science. If you cannot come to a happy decision come for a session of career guidance. We will look into all the aspects and help you reach the right choice. Do appear for your 12th Std with full energy and concentration so that you have a decent score for admission into a good college of your choice.


Q. I am a very shy and cannot interact with girls. I am in college and feel bad about it. Many of my classmates have girlfriends and I do not know what to do? I tried talking but they laughed at me and after that I was not able to study properly. I lost marks in my exams and that made it worse as I am a good student otherwise. Please guide me.

Ans. One was is to improve your shyness in other areas in college such as speaking in class, on the mike, in cultural programs etc and stay away from girls for the moment. Once your confidence improves in other areas and you become more assertive in general, you might find it easy to talk to girls too. Another way is to do very well and succeed in your studies and forget about talking to girls for some time. Once you confidence goes up in studies then try talking to girls. What I am suggesting is to decide your priority first and do well there. Other things are secondary and can wait for some time. And success brings confidence with it.

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