“Fulfilling your passions”- 6 November 2016.
Q. I am born in Nagpur, Maharashtra. I am 33 years old and my wife is 30 years old. I met my wife in college in 2010 got married in 2013. My father expired in a road accident and I was raised by single mother. My wife belongs from West Bengal and is passionate that my husband will take me for long rides on Bullet bike. Our sex life has never been good.
I think in terms of my needs not greed. I am not a biker- guy, bikes have never been my passion. Actually I cannot even ride bikes properly. Actually I am lean structure guy. Now she (my wife) wants me to buy a bulky 350 cc Bullet motor cycle which I am not comfortable. My situation is imagine a person who is using a simple Nokia phone suddenly has to operate Apple Smart Phone; how you think he is to react with it. We both are pursuing LLB. I am unable to think what should I do? Please guide me.
If you want further details, I will share with you.
Ans. Your wife has a fancy for bikes and wants you to fulfil her fancy. She has a passion for going on long rides on a Bullet piggy back and insists you do it for her. This does not work this way actually. She is being immature about the fulfilment of her needs because your passion does not match hers. It can happen that two nice people are not compatible with each other and are not able to find a balance in their relationship to keep it going. For a relationship to work, both must understand the nature of the other as well as the needs and then work out a formula for satisfying them. Force cannot be used to sort out things as it leads to stress and unhappiness. You seem to be stressed about it and hence fret about it. You could tell her that it is not your cup of tea and that she is free to pursue it herself. I am not sure if that will work too! A few sessions of counselling will help sort out the issues in a better way for there are bound to be more hidden issues than this one.
Q. I am 36 years old. I have 2 children, 8 years old and 6 years old. I am a commerce post graduate and also, a graduate in English literature. I was brought up in a very strict environment, never ever were my feelings understood. After having my children, I developed the habit of reading parenting books. I have read around 20 books so far on the same topic, of a variety of authors. This proved to be very helpful. But now when I see other children treated the same way as I was in my childhood, my heart reaches out to those children. I want to spread the awareness in the society about unconditional love, the way to talk to them, listen to them, etc. I started taking seminars on parenting, inviting my friends and family. But now the parents want me to counsel their children. But I feel, without a proper degree, I shouldn’t do that. Ma’am I sincerely request you to please guide me, as to what studies should I proceed with to be able to guide on parenting, as well as counselling. It will also set me on the right track, as now I feel, this is the right career path for me. I am really interested into this. What courses can u suggest? It will give me a sense of satisfaction and boost my self-confidence too.
Ans. To discover your passion is a great thing. You can consider yourself lucky that you have found your calling for the moment and would like to continue to work in the field of parenting and counselling. For people like you it is best to enrol for online courses which are offered by IGNOU conducted by the central government and by YCMOU in Maharashtra. You will have to do some classes in the local college as well as some practical work. If you enrol in a college it will also take two years and there are colleges that have opened the post graduate courses in Psychology for non-psychology graduates too. Depending on which state and district you live, a college closer home will be suitable. There are two year courses in general counselling as well as child and school counselling which you do. Just google it please.