Q. It is depressing me a lot. I am a 2nd year student. I had fallen in love with a girl, we both loved each other. After I have cleared my 12 exams I started working just to earn my pocket money and to support my family and I am very passionate towards my career and I know that apart from having a graduation experience is must so I work too for one year. In my college I met a girl whom I loved a lot and she too but after few months of our relation she told me that she never liked that job. Her friends used to make fun of her. I loved the job but she doesn’t like that. I know that’s useful for my career as a management students, due to this reason I never used to talk to her for weeks as I know that she would de-motivate me from the job which I loved a lot. I failed in my exams and she cleared that but after few months I cleared all my subjects. But the job which I loved a lot, and my love doest love that so it makes me feel very bad and I left that job for her, after few days she told me it’s all over we have to breakup. After some time she told me she was not happy with her life but that I was from other religion and her family won’t allow me to marry her. Please madam I want to get out of all this and want to live a happy life. The girl who hates my job, my life style, my religion I do not understand what to do. There is a soft corner in my heart for her and I feel her a lot when she remembers me. My heart starts pumping fast- is this love? Please help me ma’am?
Ans. You are right about whatever you say. You do have feelings for her, a soft corner in your heart that beats for her but you have a strong head too that speaks the truth for you. She does not seem to respect you, your job and your religion. She may like you but not your environment and your status, so you need to make proper decisions with your head and not your heart. The heart can beat for someone you like but it may be wise not to get into long term commitment for that is a different matter altogether.
Q. I am a student of 8th Std. I am writing this because I like a guy and I don’t know if he likes me or not. We can’t talk as we belong to Muslim community. And he is too shy, I have caught him looking at me many times, but he looks away immediately. Please help ma’am.
Ans. Hey, it is okay to like someone from a distance but be cautions not to let your emotions run away. Just enjoy the feeling for some time and forget it. Do not encourage the feeling nor the behaviour. He may like you a little but what does that mean at all. At this age do not get diverted to silly things like this. Make healthy friendships and enjoy neat clean relations with boys and girls.
Q. I always had a problem with studies since school days and somehow I passed my 10th Std. After that I did not feel like doing college due to fear of studies so I did some short term courses. Now I am totally confused as to how to make a career and in what? My parents do not understand my problem, they are worried but keep shouting at me. They curse me for being good for nothing and I am very depressed. What should I do? Please help me.
Ans. You must have suffered a lot during school days due to your learning difficulties. You are a brave person to have passed your 10th with a lot of struggle. Your confusion in career is natural and you should get an aptitude test done to ascertain your career options. Suggest this to your parents and inform them about the usefulness of the test. As a psychologist we could explain to your parents your learning difficulties as well as your need for a proper career planning. Request an elderly person to convince your parents if they do not listen to you. Come for one session at least.