Hasty emotional decisions are detrimental – 12 Sep 2010
Q. I am the student of B.E 2nd year. Since last year I am in love. She was my best friend during my 1st year (at that time she did not know what I feel for her). After my 1st year exams I told her everything and she broke the friendship. She said she can’t accept me because her family members would not accept me (as we are of different caste). Please advice me what to do and what not. I can’t accept any other girl in my life as I love her a lot and I can’t concentrate on my studies also.
Ans. A serious tone of feelings can upset a good healthy friendship. You should have cultivated healthy friendship with her before getting emotional about it. Now you have upset her as she thinks of the future consequences and rightly so. She is an honest and upright girl and immediately told you her mind. The only thing to do is to keep your emotions in check and be normal friends with her. Then wait, for you have a long time to go to make a career. Relax your mind otherwise your insecurities will get the worse out of you.
Q. I am a student of standard XI (science). I want to do MBA in future and therefore I wanted to take up law or BBA for my graduation but my parents feel that engineering has more substance and that I have the potential to do it. But I have scant interest in engineering and 4 yrs of graduation would be hell for me. But they don’t understand this. Please help me out in this situation.
Ans. Any professional degree course has certainly more value in the job market in terms of money and status. The training of the mind in such courses is also valuable. But it all depends upon your own choices of career and your work goals. Choosing a B.B.A or Law would depend upon what type of work you want to do, what interests you and where do you want to go in life. MBA is a post graduate degree, you should focus on your degree course first and then link it with PG course. Do come for career planning if you can’t make a proper choice, but do not spoil your life by making rebellious or hasty choices.
Q. I am married and I have recently found out that my husband is having an affair. She is his long time girl friend. He has been in relationship with her before our marriage. He did not tell me about her. I am very hurt and feeling betrayed. My husband asks me to forgive him he says he is not in touch with her now. But I have lost trust on him completely. Please suggest what should I do? I am thinking of leaving him.
Ans. Your reactions are normal under the circumstances but do not take hasty decisions based on emotions. He has betrayed you and cheated on you but it would help to give him a chance and trust him with it. If he repeats the behaviour and you are convinced that he will continue his affair then you may take a decision to end the marriage. Meantime it would be wise not to start a family if your relationship is unstable.
Published in The Hitavada Emotions on 12 Sep 2010