Q. I am a college student and I have been with my best friend as best friend from 7 to 8 years and 2 years in an relationship together almost committed! 2 years back he lost his father of whose trauma is happening now. He said me to leave him, all ends he don’t love me etc etc … and something worse occurred. He is feeling very low like hell. What should I’ll b doing as a friend and as his girlfriend in order to help him in some way. I’m too getting a bit affected and loosing track! help me to solve this. Plz
Ans. Your observation that ‘the trauma is happening now’ is interesting one. Many times the context in life is important and we feel the loss of a primary member at a specific point in time. Two years ago he must be a young college fresher and may be protected by mother and other seniors in the house. The issues as you mature in age become different as the expectations of the family members from him may have become deeper and bigger. He seems to have sunk into a depression and you need to help him out in some way. You could ask a family member to take care of him and ask him to seek counselling for depression. Depression needs immediate treatment. I cannot comment on his commitment for a long term relationship but do help him as a friend. The death of a Father is a major loss for a young boy who is yet to make a career properly in the big world.
Q. I am a B.Sc 2nd year student but not got admission in final year as I had not clear my 2nd semester zoology paper and now by this I had to take drop which I don’t want to take. Can I now drop B.Sc and do D. pharma? Please suggest madam.
Ans. Firstly, a degree is always better than a diploma in any way. Secondly, if you have already spent two long years in your degree programme, dropping out now and doing a diploma does not sound like good logic. If you have to take a drop, try to utilise it in the best possible manner by enrolling for value added courses in alignment to your degree. One thing which is not clear to me is whether you want to drop science altogether and get into pharmacy? Are you finding the current subjects tough or boring? Have you planned your entire course of career after graduation? What are you planning to do after D.Pharm? We need to discuss all aspects of your abilities, your interests as well as your aims and dreams for future before you make a switch. A session of career guidance will help you greatly sort out your dilemmas and confusions.
Q. I love science and I am being forced to enter into other courses such as engineering. What should I do? Does science have no value at all and why do parents and teachers discourage pure science?
Ans. Yes, this is a widespread phenomenon in India. Entry to courses in pure science has been dropping each year as students rush for engineering and such courses. In fact the planners at the top level are worried about this state of affairs and we need to encourage students to opt for pure science. I have seen many bright students being pushed by guardians and teachers alike into engineering and out of pure science with various types of ‘logic’, one of them being that ‘no jobs are available for scientists’. However I would advise you to think hard about your abilities, interests and future goals before making the choice.
Q. My friend is into bad habits since few years and now it is becoming worse. He has taken to drinking at junior college itself and stays with those friends who do the same thing. I have tried to pull him out of it but he does not listen. He is a good boy with good nature and soft hearted but he is picking up all sorts of wrong habits now. Should I just leave him alone and let him be? My life is also getting entangled. Please advice?
Ans. This is a moral dilemma every good friend faces. You cannot stand witness to the destruction of your good friend and also realise that your efforts are falling in the waste-bin. The important thing to understand is that it is beginning to affect your own life and well being. Under these conditions the best thing to do is to leave the person to his destiny. If he is lucky and wise he will realise his folly one day and turn around and if he is not God save him. In most cases it is the family that takes the stern step in issuing a threat for him to improve. It can be done in so many ways.