I am in love- 23 June 2012.

“I am in love!! What to do??

This is the most popular question and controversial topic I get to deal with as an Agony Aunt in my column Emotions in the daily newspaper The Hitavada.

I love the condition!

It is good to be in love and experience the euphoria that goes with it. It’s heady, intoxicating and exhilarating. Nothing could be more addictive! Love is the most positive emotion that makes the world go round and makes the world multiply itself otherwise there would be no life on Earth as human beings would become extinct! So love is nature’s way to keep it-self thriving and growing. Love has to be experienced to understand it.

Butterflies inside, jitteriness in the stomach, goose bumps (the nice ones), slow motions, flashbacks, relating to movies and songs and everything else that makes your world go round. Sounds filmy! But, you really have to experience it to understand it. Of course, it’s a wonderful feeling!

Then why are we against it is a big question and a big dilemma.

Make a difference between attraction, which sometimes is called physical chemistry; lust or physical desire; romantic inclinations and fantasies; affection and care; and long term commitment. Once dissected into multiple variables, where is love?!

Perhaps it is all of the above and rolled into each other to make it a complete and an extremely complex emotion. So can we say that love is a complex emotion that includes attraction, physical desire, affection and caring, and a desire to make a commitment on a long- term basis. This long term thing speaks of a sense of responsibility towards your own action and the reaction on the other person of your actions. Hence that wonderful feeling that we call ‘love’ becomes a serious business. ‘Love’ speaks of your personality and your character. How people conduct their love lives speaks volumes about their personal character and their identities.

If you are too young, say in your teens, your personality is yet to develop and grow into a mature human. There are numerous tasks to be done before you fall into love and commit yourself to a mature relationship. So next time you feel like saying ‘I am in love’ think ten times about your true feelings and filter out the chaff from the grain of truth. It may be a passing fad, a physical attraction, a romantic fantasy, or just affection and friendship. But certainly not LOVE.

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