“Intense emotions can be scary”- 6 December 2015.


Q. I am in Standard 12th, I am very tensed related to my studies. I can’t do study after 1 or 2 hours. This same case was with me in 10th and 11th. I can’t concentrate on my studies. Also I am failing in all my tuition tests and test series. I get disturbed as there is other activity going on around me. While doing studies I can learn only a paragraph in 6 hours. I think my grasping power is lessen or what! I want to score best in 12th, as I scored very low in 10th &11th. I want your suggestion about how to study and concentrate as there are remaining 60 days for me for Board exam. I also can’t consult to your office, as my parents will disagree with this consultation. Hope you will reply soon.

Ans. You do not mention if the subjects you have chosen are of your liking or not? If the subjects are not interesting or you do not have the aptitude for those tests then it is going to cause trouble. Concentration can get disturbed in such a situation. But now that it is too late you will have to take it up as a challenge and get going. Just keep focus on three things, studying, eating, sleeping for the next two months and do not do any fourth thing. No social media, no chatting, no friends and no any other distractions. Just three things are allowed. You will realise that you have ample time and energy to study and get going. In case the subjects are boring or tough then you have to work harder to revise, practice them many times over till you reach proficiency. It is not impossible and it is not difficult too. Study with a passion and see the difference. All the best to you.


Q. I met a girl in my college around 5 months ago and we are very good friends now. I have started liking her but not sure whether she have the same feelings or not. Should I confess her??

Ans. You will have to make a judgement whether she will react positively or negatively to your confession. Sometimes when the other person is not ready to receive strong emotions they may withdraw out of anxiety and nervousness and the relationship can get strained. A better way is to praise the person and use safer words such as ‘I like you’, ‘you are a very person’ ‘you have many good qualities’, ‘I am impressed’, etc. rather than saying headlong ‘I love you’! After this watch her reactions and if they are favourable over a period of time then confess. Make a judgement before you say whatever you have you have to say. There are consequences to every action.


Q. I love a boy and he looks at me too. But he never tries to talk to me and runs away when he sees me. I know he likes me but what is the problem I don’t know. What he behave like that, why he not talk to me? I want to talk to him but he does not. Please advice what I should do?

Ans. There could be two explanations for such type of behaviour. Either the boy is not sure of how he feels for you and finds your emotions intimidating. Or else he also has feelings for you like you have for him but he is a shy fellow and does not have the guts to say his mind. In fact he does not have the guts to even approach you and make friends with you! This can happen with many people who are introverted and hence submissive. They cannot assert themselves and their feelings. Try avoiding him for some time and see his reactions. Try getting friendly with someone else and watch his reactions. The other alternative is for you to approach him for a silly thing and make just friends with him. Do not scare him with your emotions. Just be nice and sweet to him and talk about neutral topics like studies or hobbies or the college but not emotions and certainly not love! Try it and see.


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