“Learn interpersonal conflict management”- 11 September 2016.

M.J

Q. I lack in communication skills when I talk with my friends or relatives. Sometimes they also ignore my words. Please tell me how should I improve my soft skills?

Ans. It is very important to learn effective communication. Start with building up your confidence levels that you are a good and capable individual. Think positive thoughts about yourself and become of your strengths and abilities. Keep them uppermost in your consciousness. You must stop thinking of your weaknesses. Another point is to smile when you meet people or move in social circles for it sends a good signal to others. Then you may learn to speak up in an effective manner. First try the earlier steps and we could continue further in face to face sessions. That would be better than just giving general tips.

L17

Q. I am a 12th pass science student, I want to pursue veterinary and its admission processes are still going on but apart from that I haven’t taken any admission in any other college. So please tell me what to do? If I will get admission then it is okay, otherwise I have to take a drop for a year?

Ans. Taking a drop will not be a good thing as one year is too long a gap to sit at home and do nothing. A better option would be to take admission in a science program like B.Sc with subjects of your choice. At least you will be engaged constructively and then seek admission again in veterinary science. Many students secure their seats in two or three colleges and make a choice later. Be wise.

PK

Q. I am studying engineering, but now I don’t want to attend college. I have cleared my first and second semester of the first year, now I’ve come to change my branch. Previously I had opted for electrical but now I am changing my branch to civil. I have changed my branch just because I don’t like people in that branch now I am feeling very bad in civil also. I am alone in the college I feel lonely, everything in the college after everyone is separated in their own branch, everyone has become selfish, I want to change my college in the second semester of engineering I had gone for admissions in Pune but their admissions are close now, just because my results have been declared so late!  It’s not now my fault.  I am upset about it. Please help me what to do. Whenever I go to college I bunk classes. I don’t know why I do this?

Ans. You seem to have problems in befriending people and you are trying to solve this problem by changing colleges and branches! This is crazy indeed. You need to address your emotional conflicts and also make a firm decision about the branch of study. You should stick to your present college and continue with the branch that you are pursuing at the moment. You seem to have a low social skill of getting along with people and enter into an interpersonal conflict situation soon enough. If the weakness is within you, it will always stay with you and go with you wherever you go. So changing branches and colleges will not help at all. It’s like running away from a problem which is within you. Addressing that will solve it- a few sessions of counselling will take care of it.

MK

Q. I am 18 years old. And I am taking a drop for medical entrance preparation as I could not perform well this time. I have joined a reputed coaching for preparation. But for one month I am not being able to concentrate. I get frustrated all the time and constantly feel like crying for no reason. Sometimes I feel terrified to even go out of my house. I constantly feel sleepy. I am confused about everything. I feel sad and hopeless. I try hard to cheer myself up, but in vain. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Should I ask for help? But I know my parents won’t understand this. What should I do? Am I depressed?
Ans. There could be two possible explanations for your state of mind- one is that the subject of medicine does not suit you or interest you and is causing the symptoms that you mention. The second cause could be that you are in a state of depression and need treatment. Under depression nothing appears right and the feelings that you mention about being sleepy, feeling sad and hopeless, crying, loss of concentration, terrified of going out of home, and persisting confusion prevail in depression. You should ask for psychological help and this can be treated with counselling and therapy. Do not waste more time.