“Live life with confidence”-7 August 2011


Q.I’m into a great confusion and worries. I passed my class tenth scoring 90% above and took engineering as my field of interest aiming to qualify national and state level engg entrances. I began training myself for national level (in tuitions) and thought to qualify state level easily. I wasn’t finding the level comfortable but I still tried to grasp. After a year I told my parents that I’m unable and want to discontinue but they disagreed. When time arrived to give these exams my preparation was not satisfactory. Somehow I managed to prepare for twelfth board and passed with agreeable percent. I couldn’t do that well in entrance exams. The consequences were that my parents became hostile, started comparing me to others who qualified, stated I was useless. Relatives and people around were shocked to know about the fall after 10th std. Last 2 years, I concentrated on studies, didn’t indulge in any time wasting activity, certainly there were loop holes in my preparation. All this made me cry, weak, passed some sleepless nights, tensed, think of vague thoughts knowing I’m not going to get a good college. My parents want me to take any engg. college now though I’m not much in favor of it. I don’t know what to do. Please Help.

Ans. You should not take engineering if you do not enjoy the subjects and insist on taking up another course of study according to your aptitude and interests. I am surprised at your parents ignorance and attitude towards your career. They are certainly wrong in putting pressure on you for a course for which you have no liking. You seem to be a good person and well disciplined too as you mention and yet have not qualified well enough for engineering colleges. It is important to do whatever suits your abilities and your capacities and make a success of life. There is no point in choosing a subject which will lead to a failure and a mediocre level achievement. When you choose a subject that you love and enjoy it leads to high level achievement and happiness. Insist on making your own choice and prevail on them about it. Otherwise come and consult me with your parents and let us discuss it in detail. All the best.


Q. I think I am suffering from a little psychological problem. I get very nervous and feel uneasy when I interact with people. I want to socialise but I am not confident and due to this am not able to make a good conversation. Please guide me how to overcome this fear?
Ans. Social fear or fear of social interaction is quite a common thing and many people suffer from this. Introverted personalities find it tougher to make small conversation and be comfortable in social situations. But this art can be developed with guidance and practice. In out personality development programmes we are regularly training people about this art and skill. To begin with you could read some good books on it and start practicing and if it does not work come and see me.


Q. My problem is very complex. I was a good student till 6th std. From 7th std I started going down. I study the whole year round but I lack confidence and lack mind power and concentration. I was very affected by my downfall and am suffering a great deal due to it. Since last seven years I am not able to talk to others confidently and feel scared of talking to them. My Head mistress used to scold me then but I used to keep quiet in front of her. Today in 12th Std I have achieved 80.31% whereas I was hoping for 90%. Whatever I study I remember for a few days and then forget it. I don’t know why this is happening to me. I never get any happiness I feel. I must be the saddest person in this world. How should I remain happy and tension free? I could commit suicide I feel at times. Please help me.

Ans. You should seek psychological help as soon as possible. This is certainly worrisome state of mind and you need to be counseled for your problems. A few intense sessions would help you get out of your mental suffering and make you feel better. Studies are important but not the end all of life. There is more to life that needs to be understood. You need to change your attitudes and perceptions towards yourself and your career. At this young age you should be a happy, bubbly, enthusiastic teenager and not a depressive. Please come for counseling as soon as possible.

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