“Match personalities and backgrounds for marriage”- 15 December 2013
A distressed mother.
Q. Your columns are very interesting in “The Hitavada” but it’s the time to give some advice to today’s young girls to improve their mentality of their liberty and not to misuse at the cost of trouble to others and views about marriage. Every girl and her mother dreams of a fat package of the groom and refuses to marry inspite of the grooms’s family background and financial status as it gets inherited after the father’s death. I kindly request you to write some better articles which would bring down the egoism of the girl and her mother through which mothers having sons suffer from. Women’s liberalization has spoiled the mentality of today’s women and young girls.
Ans. It seems you are suffering about some matter of your son and his marriage. There are all types of people in this world and many could be after fat packages of the husband. You should be careful in choosing a girl who has good values and comes from a similar background like yours who would be happy in a reasonable standard of living. Women’s liberalization has nothing to do with falling values in society. In fact it has made women rough and tough to earn their own livelihood and contribute to the economics of the household income. Reject girls with large egos and choose level headed girls with a balanced approach to life. If there is some other problem you are facing kindly re-state your problem.
Q. My wife aged 32 has a tragedy of her father’s accident last year but in present year suddenly she begins to cry. She is very sensitive and I am trying my best. It would help if you give some tips to help her.
Ans. Yes, she could be still in a state of sorrow and there could be some lingering depression due to mourning about the loss of her father. If a year has passed and she has not gotten over it then she would need some professional help. A few sessions of counselling will help her get over it. A few useful tips would be to encourage her to think positively about her own life and family, to get involved in some noble cause, to start an activity on his name and to set some meaningful goals in her life. Although such a loss is a permanent one there has to a time limit to mourning and depression. People must bounce back to their own original enthusiasm for life.
Q. I feel very disturbed. All my friends passed the interview and got placements and each time I fail. I don’t know what is the reason for me failing and what is the problem with me and my behaviour. My friends make fun of me and laugh and joke about it. I am ashamed about it and my parents have started shouting at me. Many good companies come for interview and I can’t get qualified. This may be my last chance. Please help me. Is there a way for doing things. How can I be guided about it.
Ans. A few sessions of training and counselling will help you understand how to appear for an interview and pass it. Most times we are unaware of what impact we make on the other person with our body language and out speech. You might be saying things that put them off or give them a wrong impression about you. your statements may not be framed in a proper manner. We could help you with all that and you come out with flying colours next time.