Q. My husband is showing signs of stress and has begun shouting at me and the children. We know he has a difficult job and long working hours. We try to adjust to his needs but now it is becoming unbearable. Even I feel nervous and drained of energy with the burden of kids and home. I feel like crying and when he begins to beat me I want to leave everything and run away. Please guide me and I am very worried for the family and my kids. They are very sweet children and love their father.
Ans. One way could be to consult a psychologist and take an opinion about the nature of his problem. He could be suffering from some mental illness which seems like stress but may not be. Once a proper diagnosis is made a remedy could be found. He may need some medicines which you could administer and he could sober down. You must take care of yourself since everything rests on your shoulders. The home and kids are on your hands and also the husband’s emotional disturbance. Be brave and keep your mind calm at all times. Bad times also pass away and good times come. It’s a phase of life and will not stay permanently. But yes, you need medical and psychological help for him and if he refuses you should reach out for help. If there are problems there are solutions too. Do not despair. Have faith in yourself and in God. Pray and meditate. Hope for the best.
Q. I have a very peculiar problem. I feel my parents don’t love me and only love my brother. I feel they hate me and only tolerate me. I am a weak boy since childhood and was good in studies but not very healthy. I cannot do hard work physically and often fall sick. So, I am slightly dependent on them for help. I work very hard and am supporting myself with my income and work but I feel humiliated and insulted by my father specially when he shouts at me. All this makes me unhappy and stressed out terribly. When I tell them this they also get angry with me and tell me it is nonsense and my imagination. Please tell me what to do?
Ans. Well, it may be true that your parents love your brother more for he is healthy and well to do. A sickly child suffers a handicap of being dependent upon family members and may begin to feel and imagine that members don’t love him. One good way is to build your strengths in a proper way. Work on your body by doing yoga and pranayama daily and immunity. Believe me, it works beautifully as you continue to practice and work out. Secondly you have to start thinking positively about yourself and banish all negative thoughts about yourself. Always think good of yourself and rise above yourself to become an asset to your parents. I am glad you work and earn your own money to support yourself. Think of more ways to earn money and enhance yourself. Make good friends and connect with them. Have a life of your own besides family and parents. Involve and engage in meaningful activities and empower yourself with them. Never think bad about yourself. The so called meek and week can rise to any heights. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.
Q. I met one man on facebook who is much elder to me. He asked me to do many things for him which I did unwillingly and now he has left me and deleted me from his friend list. I feel like committing suicide and killing myself. I told my best friend about it and she is very angry with me for being so stupid. I have lost my sense of balance and happiness. I was very happy with him and he made me laugh a lot and always teased me. Now I don’t know why he did what he did and I don’t know what I did to deserve it. I am a young girl and somehow like slightly older men. I find my age boys very dull and boring. I am very depressed madam. Please tell me why he left me.
Ans. Take this as a bad experience and a good learning one. This should teach you many things about yourself, about your weaknesses and about your strengths too. You know now that he took you for a ride as he was not serious about you but enjoyed himself at your cost. You may find the truth very bitter and may not want to believe it but that seems to be the truth about the social media. There are men stalkers sitting there fishing and waiting for young innocent girls to fall in their net. Which you did and quite unknowingly. He humoured you with teases and jokes and when you begun to love his company you did things unwillingly just to please him. He got what he wanted and he must be looking for better pastures. Such people are criminals and crooks without scruples and morals and have no conscience to poke them. So move on and watch out for older men who tease and humour you and make you comfortable in their company. Try judging their intentions.