Mental illness can be treated – 28 Nov 2010

I am 17 year old girl. My mom and dad don’t live together since I was 1 year old. My mom works in a bank. From the past 3 to 4 years my mom has started behaving differently. She says that someone reads her mind and considers it to be black magic. Sometimes she cries out loudly. Though I have tried to ignore this kind of behaviour of hers, thinking that she might be regretting her past decisions of leaving my dad, or workload of the office her attitude has started affecting me. I managed to score 93% in 10 std but it’s becoming difficult for me to maintain the same score now in 12th. She keeps on murmuring when at home. She says all kinds of negative things. I am tired of hearing those things. I have become short tempered. I am fond of studies but everything is becoming so tough. I am an emotionally sensitive person. My grandma says I back answer and disrespect my mother. Mom refuses any kind of medication. Ma’am please help me get out of this frustration and anger. I don’t know how to react. I cry a lot which causes me headache and depression. Please advise me to stay motivated in my studies.

Ans. Your mother is suffering from a mental disturbance which can be treated with medicines. She will be fine with some medicines which are given only by psychiatrists. You could first bring her to a psychologist by some excuse and then take her to the doctor. If there is an adult whom you can rely on, then do take his/her help in this matter. It is not just her past but the mind that has fallen ill therefore she talks all irrelevant things. Keep your calm because reacting to her will cause her further distress. There is no point in answering back as she does not respond in a rational manner. The best is to agree with her when she talks like that and reassure her that things will be fine. When you calm her mind she will feel better. Opposition to her actions will only aggravate things at home. If grandma does not help you with taking mom to the doctor then consult another senior. Be a good responsible girl.


Q. My husband is having an affair in his office. I recently was told by a friend. I have read some sms on his mobile. What should I do? I have one child and don’t know where to go. His mother is a nice lady-should I tell her? My parents live out of the city and I can’t disturb them. I do not work. Please help.

Ans. Sometimes these things are a passing fancy and get over within a time. You can only hope that it will not be a serious affair but only a pastime affair. You can confront him with the mobile sms and the rumours. It would be advisable not to reveal the source of your information for he may plug that source. Keep a watch on him and tell him that you are hurt about it and what is he planning to do about it. It would be better if you do not issue threats of leaving him and all that if you have no social support and no- where to go with your kid. Men generally know your weak points and can exploit that. You could start looking for a job and making yourself financially independent. You could join some friendly groups to keep yourself busy and cheerful. Give him some time to get out of the affair. Besides this affair I hope he is a well behaved and good guy? I hope he is not the abusive violent type? Do consult me if the problem persists after a time of say a month.

Published in The Hitavada Emotions – 28 November 2010.

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