“State clearly your dilemma”- 7 August 2016.
Q. I am a 12th pass student. I gave NEET 1 but couldn’t score so I gave NEET 2 in hope that I will get a reputed government college. I scored even less than NEET 1. I gave my best to score more but couldn’t score even 30%. Now my parents are asking me to take drop and prepare at home. I don’t have courage and even confidence on myself that I would be able to prepare for next year. I don’t even like to discuss and read NCERT books again. I don’t faith in me anymore. I pretend to be not caring about my result but I do really care. I can’t tell my parent’s about my mind’s condition. They will think that I am just trying to gain their sympathy and making excuses for not studying. What should I do now? Please help me.
Ans. It seems to me that you do not want to continue with your decision to compete for admissions in medical studies. Or you want to pursue medicine but have found the entrance exams to be tough and have lost your confidence to prepare for it again. If either of that is true you must inform your parents in clear terms that you would not like to do medicine and would like to opt for another course of study. This is absolutely alright and you have the right to change your decision and choose something in line with your aptitude and interest and something that gets you success. If your parents insist on repeating for medical entrance, then please stand up and assert your decision boldly without being rude to them. Tell them that you are not willing to spend another year in preparing for tests. If this does not work then a session of counselling will certainly help you and your parents to help you make the right choice. We can do an assessment of your aptitude and guide you. Do not despair and never lose your confidence and never give up the struggle. Your parents will understand you once you state things clearly.
Q. I am a 17 year old girl. I recently took admission in engineering college. They have informed us that the first 3 days will be for social skills and self development. I get really anxious while speaking in front of crowds. I am not exactly a person who enjoys such programmes. Such situations make me worried and anxious and hence I cannot think about anything else. Please give me some advice so I can stop worrying.
Ans. Yes, I can understand your situation and plight. You must be introverted and shy and find such programs terrifying. It increases your anxiety and fear. But let me assure you that this is a good programme for students and personality development with social skills is an absolute necessity for graduates. One day you will have to learn these skills for your interview and group discussion will require these qualifications. It is best to start them right now rather than wait for more years or wait till the last moment. I can assure you that however tough they may seem you will be able to develop them under guidance from a good teacher. The only thing to worry about is whether the teacher/ trainer is good or not. If people laugh and make fun when you fumble, just laugh with them and enjoy the process of learning. This should be your attitude and you will soon reap the benefits of the process. Do not miss the crucial three days and just allow your mind to be free and relaxed. Do some practice in deep breathing and just sit there quietly and take full participation in the workshop whenever your turn comes.
Q. I like a girl in my class. We were together in school also but then I did not think about her a lot. In college she has changed and become friendly and chats a lot with other boys. I want to talk to her also but feel shy and scared. What if she shouts at me or behaves rudely with me? I don’t know what to do and how to tell her. Please can you help me with this strange problem.
Ans. It seems you feel attracted to this girl for some reason in college and never felt this way in school. If you are not too shy go ahead and introduce yourself and remind her of school and class. You could make a group of school mates in your college since that seems to be the area of affinity. She will never shout at you if you are polite and decent in your behaviour and if you do not make any hints of emotions and feelings. Just behave normally and be friendly. Being excessive friendly might put her off and then she may shout. If you remain within limits it can be an interesting and healthy exchange.