Take pride in your own discipline – 28 Feb 2010

XYZ Jabalpur (via email)

Q. I am going through a difficult phase in my life. I am the only daughter of my parents and I have a younger brother. My family has got a very high reputation in society and in our community. They have always dreamt of a perfect wedding for me which will obviously be arranged by them with my consent but the problem is that I am involved with a guy who is from another caste. With a lot of courage I told my family everything and being very conservative they got so shocked that they are threatening to kill themselves if I don’t forget that guy and I don’t want to go against my parents but I cannot marry someone else. My parents think that I have made a wrong decision because he’s not from our caste and he is not a businessman and just a graduate and he is two years younger to me. But does age matter that much because he is matured and working in his family business since last 10 years. Please guide me how should I convince my parents.

Ans. One option would be to tell your boyfriend to make a formal proposal to your parents. If he could convince his parents to do it, the offer would be even more honourable. Your parents would have to rethink their decisions or they would get a chance to voice their objections to them. Once both the families get involved in the discussions you have a better chance of finding a supporter among the many members, if you are lucky that is. Find out from the boy whether he has informed his parents and whether they have agreed to the match. That would be half the problem solved as at least the boy’s side is willing to receive and accept you. At least begin the process and let it go on for some time before getting out of it. You might as well put up a brave fight. And he should do that too. At least love is worth that much!

Shaila (via email)

Q. I am from A.P. I have finished my P.G in year 2006 in M.Sc Mathematics. I am good in studies. My parents got divorced in my childhood and I stay with my mother. She lived in the village but now she has passed away about two years ago. Now this news completely depressed me. I stay with my maternal uncle & aunt from my childhood in city where I completed my education. I have also done B.Ed and appear for P.S.C but I could not clear it. I am preparing for civil exams, banking but I wouldn’t be able to clear it. Actually I am not an English medium student I have passed my SSE from govt. high school. In question paper I knew answers of the questions which is asked but my English and speed is lacking. That’s why I couldn’t clear my written exams. Somehow if I clear my written exams I wouldn’t be able to clear my interviews. This is only happen to me from past 2 years. I am completely frustrated from my life. My family members are pressuring me to marry now and now my age is 28 years but how can I marry. I have no future security, no job nothing. I am completely pressurized and frustrated. I am also losing my patience. Please guide me what to do or I insist for some other field then what it should be? Please suggest me.

Ans. You have such a wonderful mathematical ability that many people would be jealous of you. You have a P.G in maths and that is no mean achievement. You should be proud of yourself. In Central India Maths is a killer subject as most students fail in it. A good maths teacher is much in demand here. Forget the English language if you are not good in it and pursue maths as a career. You could go for higher studies in the field or you could become a teacher. You could also start your own coaching centre for maths for all grades of students. Search the net for suitable career options for maths. It’s best to work in your own field and discipline. The excitement lies there. It may be your destiny too.

Published in Hitavada Insight – 28 Feb 2010

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