Q. I am a student studying in Class 12 and you know how important this year is to me. My problem is this – Whenever I sit to study say for 3 hours I just can’t able to stick to it. For eg, suppose at 7:00 o’clock I sit to study, at 9:40 or so I become totally bored and after that I just can’t able to concentrate, it is becoming a habit now not only this, in between this say almost 1 hour I become totally distracted and then after 15- 20 minutes break I can study and I just can’t resist myself to look at the clock. In the early days it was not bothering me but I feel sick now. I can’t come for
counselling so please understand and please HELP ME.
Ans. You need to motivate yourself by various ways. Think of your long term goals and dreams and encourage yourself to work hard. Make hard work a value and make good performance a value too. The fact that you are worried about the situation and have taken the effort to write to me, means that you are a serious person. Now find ways to keep your morale and motivation high and focus on studies. Stop all forms of distraction and think only about your subjects. Be obsessed about them for the next few weeks and discard all other engagements like the mobile, computer, friends, games, etc. This is the time to put all your energies into the subjects and show good results. Also take short breaks in between long hours of study and in those breaks you could do mild exercise for a few minutes and then get back to studies. If all this does not help then do come for counselling.
Q. I am a 26 year old working girl. During my working I have come close to one of my colleague who is already married. He loves me very much and he also wants me to be his wife. Now we are really confused as how to go ahead as he is already married. Because of this reason we can’t even meet each other properly. Sometimes we feel very sad because of all this, he is a very good guy and likes me a lot. Please suggest me the right path. I will be grateful to you.
Ans. The right path would be to get out of this relationship and think of another person for your marriage. You could ask your parents to look for a good guy for you to settle down. Such relationships have no future until and unless he is divorced. Since he is a married man he cannot marry you till he takes a divorce. Most times a divorce proceeding takes a life time to get resolved as the courts do not favour it and nor does society. So the best and wise thing to do would be to run away from this man entirely and cut off all communication with him. It is better to be practical and wise rather than being romantic and a fool. If you are a sensible girl you will choose the path which I am suggesting as that is the right path. God bless you.
Q. I am a student of class 10th. I am from a middle class family. During my first exam I scored quite less marks because whenever I sit to study I imagine all sorts of stupid things and not able to concentrate on studies! During my result my mother went with me to the school. She was very upset to see my low grades but somehow I managed and made my mother feel that next time I will do better. When my father called me I told him high grades which I have not got. I fear from my father a lot. In my next exams if he came to know that I had very low grades a disaster will come to me. I cannot tell the truth also because he will say all sorts of rubbish things to me and may beat me too!! Please madam may I have any other suggestion from you.
Ans. The best thing to do is to prove to your parents what you promised to them that you would show good results in the next exam. Stop worrying and feeling afraid of this and that situation and open your books and focus on them completely. Think of exams as a fun and challenging time and a measure of your true worth. Convince yourself of your talents and your good virtues of working hard and proving yourself. You can lie to parents and the world but to yourself. Do not harm yourself by wrong and false self estimations. Know your talents and your abilities and prove yourself. Best of luck!
Published in The Hitavada Emotions Column – 23 January 2011