Q. I am a working female. My problem is that I was in love with a guy and we were in relationship for some days. I was 100% sure that we will be marrying each other. He is a good and well educated guy working in a company but 3 months ago I came to know that he is alcoholic and some where a drug addict. After knowing this I broke up with him. I was mentally disturbed so I came at my hometown. Here I came to know that my parents have searched a guy for me. My parents are very happy about it but I am very guilty about myself. Now should I marry that guy. I don’t want to spoil my married life. I am very depressed. Can I have a good future ahead? Please tell me what should I do?. Please guide me.
Ans. It is good you broke up with your boyfriend once you discovered that he was a drug addict and an alcoholic as well. It must have been a shock to you and a disappointment as well to have to break off a friendship that you were planning to convert into a marriage. You have shown lot of courage by doing so. You need not feel guilty about a bad relationship as you were true to your emotions and had good intentions but it did not turn out as you desired. It is not your fault at all. You could tell your future husband that you had an affair and that the details of it are not important. Remember you have a right to
privacy and if it is embarrassing for you to talk about a failed affair, do not do so. If he is a decent guy he will not embarrass you by asking the details. Please look forward to happy times ahead. You have a right to happiness and a good future. Please come for consultation once if you have more questions in mind.
Q. I am in a relationship from past 6 yr. the problem is she lied 2 me so many times but now she realized that she made big mistake. but now i dnt trust her i always doubt her. i think she is hiding some thing frm me becoz of this i always shout on her i am nt able 2 talk freely with her.i want 2 be with her marry her. what should i do plz help me.
Ans. A personality does not change much with time. The changes are few and rare. If your friend has a habit of lying she may do so every now and then. Shouting your head off will not decrease it. If you plan to marry her you will have to be ready for such behavior in future and you will have to accept her as she is with all her faults. If you actually love her she must be having some positive points and strengths in her personality which attract you to her. Kindly rethink your idea of marriage and evaluate her as a partner in your scheme of things. Do not marry her just for the emotion of love but to make a sensible living. The decision concerns your whole life. Please consult if you cannot make up your mind.
Published in The Hitavada Emotions – 12 Dec 2010