“You will succeed” – 22 May 2011

R.G

Q. My wife is showing abnormal behaviour. She is always suspicious about me and I am not able to remove her suspicions about myself. Please help me as to what I should do.

Ans. Your wife seems to be suffering from a psychological disorder and needs to be counseled and treated properly. But only after I examine her would I be able to arrive at a right conclusion. She may need medicines or may be helped with counseling- it depends upon her current mental status. Please bring her for consultation and if she refuses which she is likely to do, then bring her on some other pretext. For example you could say you need counseling for stress and request her to only accompany you. That’s a suggestion. If that does not work, then you may come alone to talk to me in detail about her symptoms.

Anonymous.

Q. I am totally disturbed because of my brother. I am unable to understand his problem. He is married and going to be a father soon but he is not very stable in his life and mind. He is very violent sometimes. Throwing everything around him, he becomes so violent that he tries to harm people around him. He is a drug addict and also has smoking and drinking habits for which we even put him in a rehabilitation centre but was of no use. He even used to cut his hands and scars can be seen. He is the only son and with this trauma my parents are very depressed and stressed. My sister in law is also very worried for her future. I can relate these symptoms to a celebrity’s husband. Please do tell me what he is suffering of and will this disorder be cured? Hope you will be of some help to me. How much will it cost and what are the chances of his cure?

Ans. He is a patient of substance abuse and various addictions and seems to be developing psychiatric symptoms too which often happens in the long term use of drugs. This also leads to moral and spiritual degradation and deterioration in family relations. Almost all areas of life get affected as there is a decline in efficiency and effectiveness in work, and in maintaining family and social relations. So there is an all round disturbance and everyone suffers. One option could be to admit him in the Institute of Mental Health (Govt. Mental Hospital) at Nelson Square at Nagpur and keep him there till he recovers. They will not discharge him till full recovery. The cost will be less and he will be put into custodial care which means that he will not be able to escape from there. At the same time ask your sister in law to start working and engaging herself fruitfully in a job.

Sunil

Q. I am doing professional course since 4 years and I am not able to pass the exams. This has made me very depressed and frustrated. My family is angry with me and so is my girlfriend. She wants to leave me for I am not finished my studies and when will I start working with a job she asks me. My family criticizes me all the time. I don’t know what to do and how to lead my life. I am also not enjoying the course of study and feel like leaving it. Thoughts of suicide come frequently and then I feel ashamed of myself. Please guide me. You are the only hope.

Ans. This happens when you make hasty choices in choosing a career without proper planning and thought of your likes and dislikes and strengths and weaknesses. Career choices are to be made with utmost care and in depth thought about the multiple factors that are important. I would advise you to come for discussion and guidance even now. You might need a little bit of counseling too. Meanwhile do not give up and continue with the course. Complete it in as soon as possible and make it your top priority. Forget your girlfriend for some time. Tell her to give you some more time, say six months, and then to take a decision about leaving you. Ignore the comments by the family. This is the time to rise to the difficult situation and prove yourself which you can do. Just keep your mind calm and relaxed. Meditate and pray and focus on your exams. Work with a one point program. You will succeed.

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