“Average achievers can make great lives”- 29 June 2014.
Q. I am 22 years old. I’ve just completed my graduation. The problem with me is that I feel I’m a loser, the reason behind this being I wasn’t particularly an achiever in my academics. Also, I am cautious about my looks, sometimes to this level that I feel it’s my looks why I don’t look convincing to people whenever I’m putting forward a point to a person or a group. I had been like this since I started understanding things. I’m always occupied with all this things that I can’t focus on other important things, and end up feeling helpless. I stammer whenever I’ve to sound stronger! I want to be a writer, and so want to put an end on all this things. I really can’t study these days when entrances are all over my head, I’m nervous that I’ll fail this entrance too and won’t be able to get a good college. I want to seem confident and perform well in the written tests as well as Personal Interviews. What should I do to keep my mind aloof from all these nervousness and to prepare well focused for my exams?
Ans. Career building as well as personality development both are important areas of self growth. But sometimes we have to prioritise and focus on one thing and leave the rest to a second priority. You have not mentioned what exactly are your career goals and whether you are absolutely clear about them? Clear goals help you feel confident and positive about yourself. Even if you are not an excellent student but an average one it is okay to be confident about leading a successful life as academics and practical reality are two different things. It is a misnomer that only high achievers are successful in life. On the contrary if you observe life closely you will realise that very ordinary people (in terms of academics) are in top positions or running good businesses! Do not curse yourself ever, always maintain a positive outlook about yourself and your future and go ahead with full confidence even if you are an ordinary student. That attitude will give your personality a glow that others will notice. A few sessions of counselling might help crease out your negativities of your mind.
Q. I am very much worried about my career though I am doing engineering (just completed my second year stream: electronics and telecomm.) I feel like engineering isn’t my cup of tea. I find it tough and I want to change my stream to either PG in H.R. or mass communication and journalism besides that my interests are: nail art, DIY stuff, craft and creativity plus I am good at debates and extempore. I am really not looking forward to my future in engineering line and now I have my summer break and I am thinking of doing some quality course. Please guide me regarding my future.
Ans. Many students face the same dilemma as yours when they do not think through their future goals clearly and systematically. You seem to have made the mistake of choosing a course that does not suit your aptitude and interests. There are two choices for you now at the moment: one is to complete your engineering and then go for higher studies of your choice (after much thought and career guidance) and the other option is to drop out now from engineering and start fresh, in which case career counselling will be important again to make the right choice. You cannot afford to make a wrong choice the second time. But many students would not hesitate to change their career lines once the realisation as dawned that you are suck in a wrong choice.
Q. I am in relationship with a boy. I love him very much. At starting he also loves me but last 2 months he is not behaving properly with me so I am so much disturbed. He says that he love me but because of his rude behaviour I don’t think he love me. He is failed in exams in December so he told me that he has to cover his subjects therefore he is disturbed and not talking with me properly but he promised me that he will talk with me after exams but at 22 May our exams are over and on 23 May he go to Shirdi and now he is busy in his friends. Sometimes he talks so nicely that I think he loves me so much but sometimes he don’t even call me. What should I do madam? Please tell me. I cannot forget that boy I cannot live without him. Please suggest me something.
Ans. He does not seem to be serious about you as he treats you quite casually. Whenever he feels like he talks otherwise gets busy with others. Be cautious about such relations as you can get hurt in the long run. You should be prepared to get ditched any moment or he would just keep you dangling and hanging by being non-committal about his intentions. He would keep you guessing and you would waste your time and energy on a useless proposition which does not exist in reality. Get out of your dream world and face reality.