Q. I am a student of 11th Std studying in an English medium school. I have taken science subjects but I am finding them very tough and my marks are going down. I feel nervous and have lost all confidence in myself. My parents are unhappy and worried about me and my teachers are very disappointed with me. What should I do? Please guide.
Ans. If you are stuck with a choice of subjects you are now finding tough, you can either repeat 11th with a fresh choice of subjects or else you can try to complete your 12th to the best of your capacity with the current subjects and then make a switch at the college level. You could drop science subjects and instead opt for commerce, law, computer science, or whatever suits you. It would be wiser to plan now in a better manner before you even take a decision to repeat or postpone. Aptitude test is a good way to know your abilities and your interest and plan your career. I can help you with the test and the counseling.
Q. My husband works in an office and I suspect that he is involved with his secretary in some way. He has begun working late nights and also drops her home if they are late at office. I am totally confused and my mind has blanked out with it. What will be my future and where will I go? What about the children? I have fought with him many times and every time I say something he gets angry and leaves the house. To maintain peace I keep quiet but I feel depressed and angry at my life. Please help me.
Ans. Take an assessment of your life situation. If you can walk out and live independently you could do that and see how he feels about his marriage breaking up. Then he will have to think about the consequences of his actions. If you cannot walk out and live by yourself and then it’s best to keep quiet and let the situation pass. It could just be a fleeting attraction and will die its own natural death. In case it goes on you could take the help of a family member or a friend he likes. Friends can help a lot in such cases. If you cannot manage yourself please come for counseling.
Q. My boyfriend has been behaving very funny from some weeks. He is very nice, I love him and cannot live without him. He is ignoring me and does not talk nicely on phone. I keep asking him what happened but he says nothing has happened. He blames me for small things and shows he is angry with me. He does not explain anything. What should I do? I have lost interest in everything. Feel like committing suicide. Please help.
Ans. First of all, relax your mind and keep calm. Pray and start thinking positive about your own life. Banish all negative thoughts about suicide and all that rubbish. Your life is important and your own parents and family is important. This boy is secondary in your life. For some time, stop calling him on phone or otherwise and don’t take his calls as well for a week. If he continues to make calls after that too then you may receive it but do not say anything to him. Do not complain or cry or blame or shout or anything. Keep shut and say that you are busy with some work. Let him try to find out your problem and let him try hard. If he wants you he will come forward and if he does not want you, then you may have to forget him and throw him out completely from your mind. Be brave and maintain your dignity. All the best.
Published in The Hitavada – Emotions column 13 March 2011