“Be firm on your decision” 20 June 2021



Q. I have lost interest in my studies. I was a good student till std 8. My teachers are not so good. They shout at students and call names. My mother also fought with them and now the school principal is also angry with me and mother. My mother asked me to write to you. Please advise.

Ans. This is a strange case of bad behaviour of the teacher and the principal too! The principal should have resolved the problem instead of adding to it! It means they are not apologetic and will support the bad behaviour of the teacher and blame the student. Many schools will take this attitude of blaming the student and proving the teacher right. You have to make a choice here. If you want to continue in the same school, then do not take this further but reconcile with the principal and teacher. If they are not asking for any apology from you, then it is a good thing and the matter will die out with time. If they are asking for an apology from you or your mother, then write a polite letter and say you are sorry for whatever happened and that it will not happen again. If you decide to leave the school then write a letter to the principal stating the event and that you like to withdraw your name from the school. In all wisdom you should not change your school in std 9 and continue with the same. Swallow your pride and stay where ever you are. Focus on your studies, drop your anger and don’t waste your time. Sometimes we say, ‘the boss is always right’.


Q. I was to be married last month and the wedding got postponed because my fiancé caught Covid. She was in bad condition and is slowly recovering now. My parents want to cancel the marriage with some silly reasons that she is sick and all that and why to get married to her now. We were engaged last year and was waiting for right time for Covid to go, and so got delayed. Other-wise we would have been married by now. It is bad luck for me that all this happened. How to convince my parents that I will wait for my fiancé to get better. My father will somewhat agree with me if I insist but my mother has gone against the girl. I don’t understand why? She is not giving reasons, only being very superstitious. Please guide me what to do.

Ans. This is extremely unfortunate but many people have suffered such setbacks during Covid. Your parents cannot and should not reject your fiancé just because she got infected with Covid and especially when she is on the path to recovery. Many family members have fallen sick, recovered and are back home leading normal lives. Those seriously affected take a slightly longer time to recover but nevertheless get normal. Ask your parents what would have happened if you had been married last year and she had then fallen sick? Anyone can fall sick at any time, there is no guarantee for perfect health. The second option could be to take your father on your side by convincing him that you are serious about your marriage with your fiancé and that you will not break your commitment with her. If your parents have taught you good values and character ethics, then you must remind them about it and request them to allow you to fulfil your commitment and duty towards the girl. If you show your steadfastness and your firm and irreversible decision, they will give in. Your mother’s superstitious beliefs and behaviour are surprising. What is the nature of her beliefs would be interesting to know? Stick to your decision under all types of pressure and don’t give in. Your parents will bow to your demands soon and also respect you for it later on!


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