“Be polite and firm”- 15 April 2012
Q. I am married for 4 years but not having a happy married life. Our relation- ship is not healthy all the time as we just fight and arguing with each other. My husband had affair before marriage. The girl is still friend of him and he told to me this before marriage. Whenever we are not on talking term he talk to her and take advice of her. He feel tension-less, relaxed after talking to her. He owe more than heaven to her which irritated me and feel angry. Sometime I think of divorce and suicide but I love my son (3yrs old) and don’t want to punish him for our mistakes. In our last fight he told me that he want divorced also said sorry for that and said it was just in anger. By that time I feel nervous
and am depressed all the time. I will get mad. How can I enjoy my life?
Ans. Happiness is your responsibility actually. Marriage is not the only place to find happiness. A relationship may be troubled and there may not be any easy solutions to it too but nevertheless you must find your happiness in other things as well, such as, work, children, hobby etc. Please do also work on your relationship by fighting less, understanding each other and spending time together in happy ways. But also engage your mind in creative pursuits. If you still feel distressed come for a counselling session.
Q. I am in 10th standard a normal student enjoy my school life very much but nowadays I am very tensed because my friends are continuously telling me that my behaviour is changing day by day they say that earlier my behaviour was very friendly but now its very humiliating and very unexpected I am very much upset about all this even my family members are also saying the same I also feel that I am changed but I don’t know what is the reason behind this and I m not able to solve this problem. A boy in my class likes me i also like him my sister knew about this but she is busy with her study so i can`t tell my problem to her as she would get distracted. plz tell me what should i do ??? how i must change my behaviour. plz help
Ans. I would more information to comment on the reasons for the change in behaviour. There could be many reasons some normal ones and some abnormal ones too. Only after more details can I comment. The next time any family member makes a remark on your behaviour ask them to bring you for counselling. That would make it easy for me to help you.
Q.I am 21 years old girl. I m in final year of my graduation. 2 months before I got call from an unknown guy regarding my college event. After it was all done he continued messaging me asking to be friends. We chatted a lot on this topic. As it was the first time I was getting such msgs from a guy, I was a bit nervous from my family also. So I continued to chat just to explain him I m not that type of girl who are ready to make friendship and relationships in this way. He even wanted to meet me once but I denied and we didn’t meet till now. Actually he says he has no close friends and he is alone, so wants to be my friend, but cant understand that its not possible for me. N nw he ready for relationship too. At times I feel I have done wrong chatting with him. I shouldn’t replied to his messages. I feel I have broken my parents trust. Nw I cant even tell them and m scared of future too. I am decent girl and doesn’t wanted to get in too all this.I cant share this anyone as i feel my friends and family do not excepted this from me and wont understand me. I want to forget all this. Please help me what should I do now.
Ans. You could stop replying to his messages and stop chatting with him. Once in a while you may pick up the call and make an excuse politely. He might take the hint and stop pursuing you. If you are firm and polite you can solve the problem. If you become weak and give in, then matters will go on. It is your life and you should not do anything against your wish. Let him be with his problems and let him find another solution for them. You keep away from him if you do not want any sort of complications in your life.