“Effective communication is an art and skill”- 8 April 2012

R.T

Q. I study in 8th Std and my problem is there is a guy in my school who keeps staring at me and I don’t like it since I don’t want to get involved in these useless things- I can’t to concentrate on my studies but I can’t just because of him. Please help me ma’am.

Ans. Staring is bad manners and could be done for various reasons, conscious and unconscious ones. It is best to ignore it and not get unnerved. Sometimes if he is doing it to unnerve you and enjoy through the process, he will be succeeding in his aim if you get disturbed. Another reason may be to get you attracted towards him as he may not have the guts to talk to you. If you ignore him he will eventually get bored and stop his act. Another way is to warn him directly or better still, through somebody, say another boy, who can tell him to stop it or get reported to the Principal. Another way could be to gang up with girls and stare back at him for some time- he might just get frightened and run away.

P.
Q. I am a 20yr old girl. My life has given me ugliest shock and has made more difficult for me to take a decision.
I did my 12th last year with science stream but yet I was very much sure I didn’t want to go for engineering or medicos- my aim was to crack CLAT. After my exam got over I started preparing for entrance, in the mean time during my board exam my real sister’s marriage got fixed. I don’t know why but I was in an emotional turmoil- instead of getting happy and excited my feelings were totally opposite and because of this my board exams didn’t go well and worse than this my sister marriage got fixed 2-3days before my Clat exam. Though I tried my level best but I was not able to clear. I joined BBA and I started preparing for Clat too. I did my level best but to my ugliest shock my form got rejected due to overage. What should I do?

Ans. This is very unfortunate. These details of eligibility should be clear in the mind of a candidate. Now you have lost out because of a minor detail that you overlooked. But you have only yourself to blame. These are the lessons we learn from life albeit the hard way. Now, relax and look for alternative colleges –Clat is not the end of the world. You could join the second level colleges for a good degree course in law and get going. Ultimately your own merit counts in life more than anything else. And if you are passionate about doing law –then go ahead and do it. The loss of a year does not matter at all for career is a lifelong devotion and passion.

S.

Q. I am aged 35 and single. Parents are not alive. People (esp. family members) misunderstand me many a times. I intend to communicate something and they take it in different way. They always keep advising me to do this and that but never seem to understand me. I feel very lonely and get very depressed. Sometimes I feel why the hell I am born in this world. I don’t know how to overcome this. I NEED HELP.
Ans. Yes, you do need counselling and psychological help. The problem could be on both sides, with you as well as with the other family members. Adjustment problems can happen when there are differences of opinion, culture and beliefs, coupled with an attitude of impatience and intolerance towards each other. It will help you to understand yourself better and understand them as well and build bridges with family members so that the home could be a peaceful place to live in. Communication is a difficult skill and needs to be practiced to be effective. I could help you with all this.