“Being wise and sensible”- 1 October 2017.

S.W

Q. I’m a final year engineering student. I never wanted to do engineering. I tried to tell my parents but I failed to convince them. I have somehow managed to reach in final year but still have 4 backlogs. Day by day it’s getting tougher for me to adjust with this. Can u please help me?

Ans. Reaching the finishing line and quitting your degree will be really foolish. You can easily clear four backlogs, it is not a big deal. Once you are a graduate with a degree in hand the world is open to you to choose another line in post graduation. You can opt for anything you like and start a new course of study too. But complete this for otherwise three long years will be a total waste of time and money. Whether you like it or not, you must complete the task at hand. Even if it seems tougher by the day, once decided you will be able to complete it and be free. The degree will bring a sense of relief and a sense of freedom with it. A session of counselling will help chart the future course of planning and action.

K.N

Q. After breakup my boyfriend Broke All Contacts With Me. In A Fit Of Rage I Used Bad Words, Abusive Language & Sent SMS To His Family (Mom) Member. His Family Warned Me &Ended The Issue. Today After 5 Years Suddenly I Got His Number From One Of Common Friend. I Apologized As I Was Guilty Since Long Time. But He Blocked Me. Now I Think I’m A Criminal and Everyone Hates Me. Please Help Me.

Ans. Where is the need to be guilty for something you are not responsible for. He broke up with you and also broke off all contact with you (I do not know the reason for his behaviour as you do not mention it) and you were extremely hurt. You abused him in anger and also messaged his family in retaliation. Expression of anger helps in venting out high emotions and makes you feel relieved. Since he may not have been decent in breaking it off amicably (I am assuming this) you must have raged about it. It was perfectly fine for you to behave in such a fashion at that moment. Your mistake lies in making contact with him again after five years and awakening your emotions for him. He has rejected you once again and that is a terrible feeling. Now follow my advice- stop feeling guilty and like a criminal, nobody hates you (he does not like you that I can agree). Forget him, he is no good for you, he does not deserve another glance. He does not exist in this world at all for you. Focus on the present and excel in your goal in life. Make new friends at some point of time. Life is too vast to worry about one insensitive fellow.

N.S

Q. I am 22 year old boy & finished my graduation this year. I love one my teachers very much. I tried telling her after finishing college. She refused to accept my feelings. I tried a lot but she doesn’t understand. She is very supportive and caring but gets annoyed when I talk about my feelings. This hurts me a lot. I know she is a married woman with kids. But I need her and want to be with her. She has stopped talking to me and I am very disturbed due to that. I can’t live without her. I will try to give up my feelings but I want to talk to her.

Ans. It is wise of her to keep you away from her rather than listen to your feelings and trying to counsel you. It is possible that she did not know how to handle a situation like this in a balanced way and hence distanced herself. She is a married and responsible lady and you should have maintained a respectful distance from her. Telling her your feelings for her does not help anyone and hence she has taken this step. I would suggest you talk this out with a friend or better still seek professional counselling to help yourself. She has done the right thing for she must have sensed your intensity of emotions. The only alternative suggestion she could have made to you was to make friends of your own age and also to seek proper counselling. Do not approach her for personal reasons after this. That would be best for both of you.